Arrested development/maturity & young males w/udBPD

[JLoCali9450]

My nephew, who shows a lot of high functioning BPD traits, graduated university about a year ago and recently got a job on campus where he works with staff and students. He didn't go to university straight out of high school so he's older than the average college grad - he's 29.

He's spending most of his free time on campus, almost dated a sophomore girl and has befriended a few sophomore guys. I've asked him why he's not making friends with people his own age/stage in life (post-college) he gets very defensive and changes the subject.

After graduation none of my friends hung out on campus or socialized regularly with undergrads - they wanted to be with their post-undergrad peers. I would think he would want to make friends with people who have graduated university, not current undergrad students. These kids aren't even seniors - I don't understand.

Should I be concerned? Any insights?
Is this a generational thing?
Do other young people with BPD socialize with younger/less mature people?

Thanks,
JLo in Cali

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[By Still Water]

This was always true for my son (w/BPD). I think he feels more secure with younger adults.  He had always been less mature than his age peers.

[JLoCali9450]

Thanks for your reply By Still Water! Do you mind telling me his approximate age and the ages of the people he socializes with? If he's an adult, did this trend continue into adulthood?

Thanks,
JLoCali

[By Still Water]

He’s 41. He dated a few of his university students - after they had taken his course. He does have a few friends his own age, though. He prefers younger women; I think it lets him feel less threatened.