Hi @Whatsthedeal,
I hear you. I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been going through this for a few months also. From what I can observe and guestimate about my ex, when I'm not around her, she is more easily able to shove grief aside, push it deep down. She NEEDS to appear like she's in control, like she has it all together, like she's strong.
The last time I talked to her (which was not productive - it was full of circular conversations and contradictions), she also cried & said so many things she loves about our relationship & so many ways she would have never known she should have been treated. But she still has a gut feeling we shouldn't be together.
She asked me to not talk to her family or friends at all because she feels like they're all "on my side." They're not - they care about me, they care about her. They are all worried about her because she's acting weird - she's not acting like someone who is going through a breakup.
It's impossible to fully understand.
