Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
December 22, 2024, 11:04:51 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Experts share their discoveries
[video]
100
Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
A perspective on BPD
Ivan Spielberg, PhD
BPDFamily.com
>
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
>
Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
> Topic:
Child made a libelous social media post
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Child made a libelous social media post (Read 947 times)
TiredMama01
Fewer than 3 Posts
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: married
Posts: 2
Child made a libelous social media post
«
on:
February 22, 2023, 01:29:36 PM »
Hello,
Our 18 year old daughter who lives in another state (long story
) made a post on social media that contains many outright lies. I know that she posted it when she was having a severe emotionally dysregulated episode. I have done some research and believe that the post does fall under libel. We have not confronted her about the post, though she wrote that she does not care if we, her parents, have seen it. I want to report the post, but know that if I do and it does get removed, she will come after us with a vengeance that I'm not sure I want to go through again. I am beside myself. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Logged
Our objective
is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to
learn the skills
to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
kells76
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
Online
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 3868
Re: Child made a libelous social media post
«
Reply #1 on:
February 22, 2023, 02:41:02 PM »
Hello TiredMama01 and welcome to the group -- you're in a place with people who understand just how tired you are of all the challenges, conflicts, behaviors, and dysregulations.
It might help us to know a bit more about what the post contains -- to the extent that you feel comfortable sharing, of course.
For example, is it directed at you? your husband? another family member? someone else?
Is the content "annoying but anyone who knows you knows it isn't true" (for example, "TiredMama01 cheats on her taxes")?
Or is it to the level that it could impact someone's employment and get someone arrested (i.e. "you are a sex offender and here is the evidence")?
My H's kids' mom has many BPD type traits, and she accused him (in a legal document) of cheating on his taxes. We did not engage with that.
She has also accused him of being abusive to the kids. After she did that to H's face, he decided to no longer meet with her (to discuss the kids) without someone else present.
Who it is about, and the potential impact of false accusations being taken seriously, are what I would consider as I decided what to do.
Another thing I might consider doing would be to get a free (or low cost) "initial consultation" with a local lawyer -- it's not the same as hiring the lawyer/putting the L on retainer, and often, in just a 30-60 minute session, you can get a lot of helpful info about what it would really look like to report the post as libel (what to expect, what is realistic, how it often plays out, benefits/drawbacks, etc).
I'll keep an eye on this thread if you want to keep talking through some options, and again, welcome;
kells76
Logged
Pook075
Ambassador
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 1276
Re: Child made a libelous social media post
«
Reply #2 on:
February 22, 2023, 03:13:48 PM »
Welcome to the site! Just a thought- your daughter wouldn't necessarily know that you reported the post. If it's against the social media site's terms of service, then the site could just as well remove it themselves. Literally anyone could report it.
There's two ways to handle this:
#1, The direct route. Contact your kid and tell her to edit or remove the post. Your kid will refuse. You'll report the post, your kid will have a meltdown if it's deleted. If it's not, then you could involve an attorney (if it's worth it to you) or at least threaten legal action. You don't want to go this route for obvious reasons, but it makes your boundaries clear and a lesson will be learned.
#2, Skip all the drama and just report the post, then deny you had anything to do with it if there's blowback. State what I said at the beginning, if it's against the site's policies, the social site probably removed it themselves. Rules apply to everyone, even on the internet. There's still a lesson learned and you only get maybe 25% of the blowback.
What you don't want to do is walk on eggshells and make it seem like it's okay to spread lies about family on social media. Also, resist temptation to reply to the post, because then you're going to get her blowback online with others joining in...it just draws more attention to the situation and you don't want that.
Just my 2 cents, hope it helps!
Logged
TiredMama01
Fewer than 3 Posts
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: married
Posts: 2
Re: Child made a libelous social media post
«
Reply #3 on:
February 24, 2023, 05:36:38 PM »
Thank you for your suggestions. I appreciate it.
Logged
PearlsBefore
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Confidential
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Posts: 438
Re: Child made a libelous social media post
«
Reply #4 on:
February 25, 2023, 12:07:36 AM »
Practical: I have a few social media profiles if you wanted me to engage with the post as an "offended stranger" and be the bad guy who reports it - just private-message me the link.
Theoretical: This happens quite a bit, if you google my name you'll see all sorts of terrible untrue things all tied to a specific dBPD...ultimately the best way to confront it is essentially al-fana, ego death. Learn to not care and brush it aside even though it's unfair, it may cost you business, raise doubts in shared friends' minds or lower newcomers' estimation of you if it's ever easily found. Just. Don't. Care. That's my advice and honestly it's what has kept me sane. Probably won't be the last time she does it, you can try to ask her to remove it next time she is playing super-friendly, but it may not be worth the bother.
Logged
Cast not your pearls before swine, lest they trample them, and turn and rend you.
--- I live in libraries; if you find an academic article online that you can't access but might help you - send me a Private Message.
Snigglefritz
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Engaged
Posts: 3
Re: Child made a libelous social media post
«
Reply #5 on:
February 26, 2023, 10:40:55 AM »
Hi Pearl,
Theoretical: This happens quite a bit, if you google my name you'll see all sorts of terrible untrue things all tied to a specific dBPD...ultimately the best way to confront it is essentially al-fana, ego death. Learn to not care and brush it aside even though it's unfair, it may cost you business, raise doubts in shared friends' minds or lower newcomers' estimation of you if it's ever easily found. Just. Don't. Care.
[/quote]
How do you learn to Just. Don't. Care.?
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
>
Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
> Topic:
Child made a libelous social media post
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...