Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
December 22, 2024, 05:38:40 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Experts share their discoveries [video]
100
Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
A perspective on BPD
Ivan Spielberg, PhD
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Child made a libelous social media post  (Read 945 times)
TiredMama01
Fewer than 3 Posts
*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: married
Posts: 2


« on: February 22, 2023, 01:29:36 PM »

Hello,
Our 18 year old daughter who lives in another state (long story Frustrated/Unfortunate (click to insert in post)  ) made a post on social media that contains many outright lies. I know that she posted it when she was having a severe emotionally dysregulated episode.  I have done some research and believe that the post does fall under libel. We have not confronted her about the post, though she wrote that she does not care if we, her parents, have seen it. I want to report the post, but know that if I do and it does get removed, she will come after us with a vengeance that I'm not sure I want to go through again. I am beside myself.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Logged
Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
kells76
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 3868



« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2023, 02:41:02 PM »

Hello TiredMama01 and welcome to the group -- you're in a place with people who understand just how tired you are of all the challenges, conflicts, behaviors, and dysregulations.

It might help us to know a bit more about what the post contains -- to the extent that you feel comfortable sharing, of course.

For example, is it directed at you? your husband? another family member? someone else?

Is the content "annoying but anyone who knows you knows it isn't true" (for example, "TiredMama01 cheats on her taxes")?

Or is it to the level that it could impact someone's employment and get someone arrested (i.e. "you are a sex offender and here is the evidence")?

My H's kids' mom has many BPD type traits, and she accused him (in a legal document) of cheating on his taxes. We did not engage with that.

She has also accused him of being abusive to the kids. After she did that to H's face, he decided to no longer meet with her (to discuss the kids) without someone else present.

Who it is about, and the potential impact of false accusations being taken seriously, are what I would consider as I decided what to do.

Another thing I might consider doing would be to get a free (or low cost) "initial consultation" with a local lawyer -- it's not the same as hiring the lawyer/putting the L on retainer, and often, in just a 30-60 minute session, you can get a lot of helpful info about what it would really look like to report the post as libel (what to expect, what is realistic, how it often plays out, benefits/drawbacks, etc).

I'll keep an eye on this thread if you want to keep talking through some options, and again, welcome;

kells76
Logged
Pook075
Ambassador
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 1276


« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2023, 03:13:48 PM »

Welcome to the site!  Just a thought- your daughter wouldn't necessarily know that you reported the post.  If it's against the social media site's terms of service, then the site could just as well remove it themselves.  Literally anyone could report it.

There's two ways to handle this:

#1, The direct route.  Contact your kid and tell her to edit or remove the post.  Your kid will refuse.  You'll report the post, your kid will have a meltdown if it's deleted.  If it's not, then you could involve an attorney (if it's worth it to you) or at least threaten legal action.  You don't want to go this route for obvious reasons, but it makes your boundaries clear and a lesson will be learned.

#2, Skip all the drama and just report the post, then deny you had anything to do with it if there's blowback.  State what I said at the beginning, if it's against the site's policies, the social site probably removed it themselves.  Rules apply to everyone, even on the internet.  There's still a lesson learned and you only get maybe 25% of the blowback.

What you don't want to do is walk on eggshells and make it seem like it's okay to spread lies about family on social media.  Also, resist temptation to reply to the post, because then you're going to get her blowback online with others joining in...it just draws more attention to the situation and you don't want that.

Just my 2 cents, hope it helps!

Logged
TiredMama01
Fewer than 3 Posts
*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: married
Posts: 2


« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2023, 05:36:38 PM »

Thank you for your suggestions. I appreciate it.  Smiling (click to insert in post)
Logged
PearlsBefore
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Confidential
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Posts: 438



« Reply #4 on: February 25, 2023, 12:07:36 AM »

Practical: I have a few social media profiles if you wanted me to engage with the post as an "offended stranger" and be the bad guy who reports it - just private-message me the link.

Theoretical: This happens quite a bit, if you google my name you'll see all sorts of terrible untrue things all tied to a specific dBPD...ultimately the best way to confront it is essentially al-fana, ego death. Learn to not care and brush it aside even though it's unfair, it may cost you business, raise doubts in shared friends' minds or lower newcomers' estimation of you if it's ever easily found. Just. Don't. Care. That's my advice and honestly it's what has kept me sane. Probably won't be the last time she does it, you can try to ask her to remove it next time she is playing super-friendly, but it may not be worth the bother.
Logged

Cast not your pearls before swine, lest they trample them, and turn and rend you. --- I live in libraries; if you find an academic article online that you can't access but might help you - send me a Private Message.
Snigglefritz

Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Engaged
Posts: 3


« Reply #5 on: February 26, 2023, 10:40:55 AM »


Hi Pearl,

Theoretical: This happens quite a bit, if you google my name you'll see all sorts of terrible untrue things all tied to a specific dBPD...ultimately the best way to confront it is essentially al-fana, ego death. Learn to not care and brush it aside even though it's unfair, it may cost you business, raise doubts in shared friends' minds or lower newcomers' estimation of you if it's ever easily found. Just. Don't. Care.
[/quote]
How do you learn to Just. Don't. Care.?
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!