BPD still stiniks!

[BPDstinks]

I just want to thank EVERYone, so far, for your assistance on this awful journey!  I feel 1000 percent better in the short time I have been a member!  To anyone reading, KUDOS to you for your struggles, your successes, your courage and your empathy!  With strong conviction, I say...this is a most unpleasant scenario, however, a little easier with friends  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

Hi BPDstinks
Love the name! Yes this group is where I come when I feel so alone dealing with this really awful illness. I know I never could have understood what journeying with a BPD child/teenager/adult was like - never in a million years, until I had to deal with it myself.

It was all so strange, unpredictable and there was no clear path to help or recovery. When I found the site it was such a relief, and it still is!

[SaltyDawg]

Yes, BPD does suck (stinks) in many ways...

It sucks the life energy out of me...

It sucks the life energy out of my children...

It sucks because my dreams and aspirations for the relationship of the one I love largely remain unfulfilled... and this really stinks!

It sucks as it creates unnecessary drama, stress, anxiousness, contempt and a general negative outlook on life... which I am learning to accept, as I cannot change these things...

It sucks as it has effectively isolated me from friends a decade ago (even though it is my actions by deliberately not maintaining the relationships, it was highly influenced by my wife's irrational and crazy behaviors) - this is perhaps the biggest mistake/regret I have of being in a relationship with my uBPDw.

It sucks since I have spent a few thousand hours trying to make things better... while there has been significant improvement, at best we are half way putting this sh!t into remission after 16 months of actively trying to change what I can change from the 'serenity prayer'

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.
Amen

Learning the 'wisdom to know the difference' is perhaps the hardest part of BPD management to learn, and this sucks too... ~3000 hours and counting...  It is going to be a lifelong thing if I remain with my pwBPD, it was daunting a year ago; however, it is now manageable for now... and this sucks/stinks too...

I wish you well in your journey with the borderline in your life.  I am trying to make lemon-aid from the very sour lemons I have been given.  I hope you can too...

Take care with self-care.

[SaltyDawg]

One thing more I would like to add, those of us who have not experienced BPD (or any other Cluster-B disorder such as NPD, ASPD [ psychopath or sociopath ], HPD, etc.) will never understand what we go through as it is so damn hard to wrap one's head around these crazy/irrational behaviors.