Still affected by sexually inappropriate mother

[Depression = 72% of members]

My mother suffered from mental illness, however it was many years ago and we lived in a rural area that where there was no mental health services. My mother was treated by the small town doctor who prescribed what my family referred to as
“ nerve pills “ .Looking back my mom had symptoms of PBD .
She was not discreet about hardly anything and definitely not in regards to sex . She was a very erotic minded woman and at times was not hindered by propriety or that she was married to my dad . When I went through puberty my mom would comment about my development and was sexually suggestive towards me. I believe she got an erotic thrill from her behavior but I don’t know the extent to it . A while back I revealed what occurred to a therapist I was seeing. The therapist told me “ your mother was grooming you “. 
 Although I occasionally would think of those past incidents for the most part over many years I didn’t think about it .  A few years ago for some reason I started thinking more of what happened and for the first time I realized how inappropriate it was . Then a flood of memories returned. From an early age I’ve had an extreme interest in sex that I often disdained because it was just too much.  In the last few years I believe I’ve become sex obsessed. Among the things she did that affected me the most is her being topless in front of me daily and having me unhook her bra. I remember her giggling and commenting about how I would stare at her breast. Mom was very busty. My parents highly sexualized breast and I often saw my dad fondle her boobs . There were many other things she did that were sexually suggestive. I remember the rumors about her occasionally cheating , especially those allegations of her having sex with the town doctor who was treating her .  I’m not sure what type of illness she had but it sure seems like BPD .
  I would like to know if my mother’s salaciousness towards me and her general highly erotic behavior is a symptom of bpd .
  I have to be honest and state that although I know it’s shocking and depressing the memories are shamefully arousing and a source of sexual frustration

[Stillaffected]

My mother suffered from mental illness, however it was many years ago and we lived in a rural area that where there was no mental health services. My mother was treated by the small town doctor who prescribed what my family referred to as
“ nerve pills “ .Looking back my mom had symptoms of PBD .
She was not discreet about hardly anything and definitely not in regards to sex . She was a very erotic minded woman and at times was not hindered by propriety or that she was married to my dad . When I went through puberty my mom would comment about my development and was sexually suggestive towards me. I believe she got an erotic thrill from her behavior but I don’t know the extent to it . A while back I revealed what occurred to a therapist I was seeing. The therapist told me “ your mother was grooming you “. 
 Although I occasionally would think of those past incidents for the most part over many years I didn’t think about it .  A few years ago for some reason I started thinking more of what happened and for the first time I realized how inappropriate it was . Then a flood of memories returned. From an early age I’ve had an extreme interest in sex that I often disdained because it was just too much.  In the last few years I believe I’ve become sex obsessed. Among the things she did that affected me the most is her being topless in front of me daily and having me unhook her bra. I remember her giggling and commenting about how I would stare at her breast. Mom was very busty. My parents highly sexualized breast and I often saw my dad fondle her boobs . There were many other things she did that were sexually suggestive. I remember the rumors about her occasionally cheating , especially those allegations of her having sex with the town doctor who was treating her .  I’m not sure what type of illness she had but it sure seems like BPD .
  I would like to know if my mother’s salaciousness towards me and her general highly erotic behavior is a symptom of bpd .
  I have to be honest and state that although I know it’s shocking and depressing the memories are shamefully arousing and a source of sexual frustration

[Notwendy]

I don't think it's possible to know for certain what your mother's disorder is. In general, pwBPD have poor boundaries. Sexual inappropriateness itself is not specific to BPD and neither are poor boundaries- they can be present in other disorders too.

Whatever was going on with your mother- the more important issue is what you are dealing with now and how to recover emotionally from what happened. The focus is better if it's on you, and your recovery.

For some people with BPD, there's a history of trauma and trauma can be with or without BPD. It's possible that your mother herself was subjected to some kind of sexual trauma at a young age herself.

What your mother did was unacceptable. You didn't deserve any of that. One consequence of this violation is feeling shame- but you did nothing wrong. You were the child in this situation. Why she did this is probably not possible to know for sure. If you can imagine that someone possibly did this to her too, it may reframe the situation for you. What she did was wrong and possibly she may have been a victim too at one time.

For now, the hope for recovery is with you. This kind of dysfunction could be intergenerational. People who were abused as children may have abusive behavior themselves, but you have the opportunity to emotionally recover and stop the cycle. I think this is best done with a therapist. I hope you pursue this, for your own benefit and to let go of the shame. You were a child and not responsible for what happened.

[Tangled mangled]

Stillaffected,
I came here to say I can relate with you have described. My mum had 8 children and from a young age I remember her exposing herself inappropriately even when relatives and neighbours were around. It used to make my dad uncomfortable when she will stick out her boobs to breastfeed my siblings while his friends were around.
I’m female but my mums behaviour affected the way I see myself. I’m more of the shy introvert and would not dress in revealing clothes even if my life depended on it. I had issues with clothing growing up and a certain degree of discomfort around revealing my body.
There’s is this feeling of arousal when I look at my own body-but it’s not something that I care enough to act on - I just have this heightened interest in my own body. As for sex, I was exposed to sexual content in my household at an early age. I was very young when my dad cheated on my mum with a relative at home. Without going into details this is one of the most traumatic experiences I’ve had- as it’s warped my perception of what sex and sexuality is all about. I also felt uncomfortable around my dad who I think is a malignant narcissist with sociopathic traits- he use to sit idly and very observant of any changes in my body. My mum once complained that my dad will ask questions about us girls and relatives whether or not we have started having our periods. Weird and sick in equal measure.
My mum use to make fun of me for not being like her- exposing my body more around my brothers and relatives and there were incidents were she actually insisted that I should show more of my body than I was willing to.

My ex husband too had to be reminded about not walking around the house naked in front of our children.
Maybe is bpd thing with a sprinkle of histrionic personality disorder.