Any anyone tried or looked into residential therapy?

[DodgeGal1]

In our attempt to wrap our heads around trying to help our 21BPD daughter, I have been looking at residential therapy places.  WOW!  I will have to win the lottery in order to send her to most places.  At over $82,000 for a 12 month stay, I am floored by the costs.  I realize that it is a 24-7 "daycare", but whew.  I am willing to do anything to help her but by golly at that price I need some guarantees.

BUT 1) she would have daily therapy, 2) she tends to listen and operate with non-family telling her what to do and how, and 3) it will give her daily living lessons and some further education. 

Has anyone else tried this route or looked into it? 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[momofrage]

I looked into it a couple of times for my 17 year old DD. The programs I was looking at ran about $25,000 to $35,000 for a month-long program, then maybe some additional time in a group home to transition into the community. I was willing to consider it. I found one place that said our insurance might pay maybe $5,000 towards it, but DH wasn't willing to spend the money.

I don't think anything comes with guarantees. I would love for DD to be in a place where she is surrounded by 24/7 DBT therapy, but it's not happening. Having her live at home isn't getting her much better either though. It's a real problem.

If you PM me, I will give you a link to a place that I liked. It would help if you tell me where generally in the US you live.

[pennifree]

dear dodgegirl,

I am not pro residential treatment.  We tried one for drug addiction and it didn't work all that well at all.  He figured out a way to get kicked out within a short period of time and was no further ahead.  He got off drugs when he was ready to... .and not before.  That's just a small part of my hesitation though, I feel that they have to learn the skills they need (or are missing) in the life they are living not some protected place where little of real life happens.  This of course is much harder on us parents because we continue to have to deal with them during the learning process, but in my opinion has a much better outcome becuase they don't have to re-integrate into normal life again after a long time away.  There is no easy answer, each kid is different and each family is only able to do/take so much.  For me it's all about the baby steps that eventually get to the goal... .it's a long road and there were lots of times when we seemed to be going backwards but so far things are working out ok. We've all changed.  He's grown up a bit (23 now, 15 when it all began) and DH and I are better at communicating and setting boundaries too.  It's been a long journey but the battle part seems to be over and the living part is happening again.

respectfully,

pennifree     

[momofrage]

My DD's therapist also had mixed feelings about RTC - she felt that having DD surrounded by people with serious problems might actually make her worse and teach her all sorts of horrid things.