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Author Topic: The more distance - the more sugar treatment  (Read 1253 times)
O'Maria
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« on: February 16, 2010, 10:58:56 PM »

This is weird! After endless arguments being told FU forever, I get daily phone calls and love messages. 

My impulsive, aggressive, ex-boyfriend moved out and the house is quiet. I am alone which does not feel that great. But I am working on getting myself together so I can focus on the world around me. My life has been constant drama and I had no place to relax. I have suffered from difficulties concentrating, sadness and insomnia. And physical and verbal abuse.

In the middle of post-relationship-depression my ex starts apologizing, talking about Big Love, saying that he never wanted us to be apart. He is miles away and wants to come back. He took all his stuff and was not willing to resolve any conflicts (he does not want to talk about emotional issues). Now he wants us to get married!

Maybe my crazy r/s with him would have worked if we had lived in separate houses! Talk about time-out.

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eeyore
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Relationship status: in a relationship
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« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2010, 11:12:05 PM »

wow so what are you going to do?  How do you feel?
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unknown
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« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2010, 12:06:10 AM »

wow how long were u seperated for?
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O'Maria
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« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2010, 08:37:55 AM »

We have been on/off I always had to leave when I could not take it, it was only for one year we lived under the same roof and that was not good. I left him many times last fall and before Christmas. He came back for a while didnt have anywhere else to go and I couldnt be heartless and let him sleep in the street.

I cant go on like this. It takes away from my ability to function and perform outside home. You can't believe how quiet it is after he left.

No arguments No FU's.

I will try to not think about all the good times so its easier to get over him. I put away all pictures of us having fun together. It was so good in the beginning, I never expected to be FU seven times a day.

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eeyore
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« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2010, 08:39:38 AM »

We have been on/off I always had to leave when I could not take it, it was only for one year we lived under the same roof and that was not good. I left him many times last fall and before Christmas. He came back for a while didnt have anywhere else to go and I couldnt be heartless and let him sleep in the street.

I cant go on like this. It takes away from my ability to function and perform outside home. You can't believe how quiet it is after he left.

No arguments No FU's.

I will try to not think about all the good times so its easier to get over him. I put away all pictures of us having fun together. It was so good in the beginning, I never expected to be FU seven times a day.

Are you engaging the phone calls and the messages or are you No Contact.  I think I'd change my phone number.
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O'Maria
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« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2010, 12:25:34 PM »

We decided to play down emotions and keep it at business or friendship level at least for some time until we can split some of our belongings that are piled up in a storage unit. After so many anger outbursts I could not take one more so I tried to be "soft" on him. We are hundreds of miles away from each other with no physical contact.

We had joint phone lines and I have given everybody that number so I want to keep it. He was not willing to separate our phone contracts when I asked him to do so. The contract is in his name originally so he needs to sign to let me keep the number and put it in my name. He says he is busy with other things. I think he is checking to see who I call and find out if I started dating someone else. I have not, I am totally out of energy and need to focus on job and pay my bills. Its hard enough to live by myself after a very intensive r/s. My home does not contain any of his stuff anymore but the common storage unit has all the extra stuff from both our previous apartments.   
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eeyore
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Relationship status: in a relationship
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« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2010, 09:17:51 PM »

I think if it were me I'd untangle everything and start fresh.  Get that drama out of my life.  I mean you are already this far why not sprint to the finish line.
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O'Maria
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« Reply #7 on: February 19, 2010, 12:10:51 AM »

Drama has always been the name of the game. I am the most wonderful woman on earth now when I am gone. It has happened before, when I am not around he gets anxious. When were together it turns into disrespect, verbal abuse, cold shoulder.   

He doesnt talk about emotional issues or solve any conflicts. There will be another girl soon to boost his ego.
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eeyore
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Relationship status: in a relationship
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« Reply #8 on: February 19, 2010, 06:38:51 AM »

Drama has always been the name of the game. I am the most wonderful woman on earth now when I am gone. It has happened before, when I am not around he gets anxious. When were together it turns into disrespect, verbal abuse, cold shoulder.   

He doesnt talk about emotional issues or solve any conflicts. There will be another girl soon to boost his ego.

I can't tell you how much I really understand. 
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Metta
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« Reply #9 on: February 19, 2010, 08:34:44 AM »

Drama has always been the name of the game. I am the most wonderful woman on earth now when I am gone. It has happened before, when I am not around he gets anxious. When were together it turns into disrespect, verbal abuse, cold shoulder.   

He doesnt talk about emotional issues or solve any conflicts. There will be another girl soon to boost his ego.

Oh yeah. I can relate to this. Drama Kings.

It's very odd, all the sugar and the FUs coming from the same person. Ugh!
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2010
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« Reply #10 on: February 19, 2010, 07:49:26 PM »

Excerpt
Drama has always been the name of the game. I am the most wonderful woman on earth now when I am gone. It has happened before, when I am not around he gets anxious. When were together it turns into disrespect, verbal abuse, cold shoulder.

Beware the whimpering puppy in the other room who changes into a raging pit bull once he hears the hand on the doorknob... .
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O'Maria
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« Reply #11 on: February 19, 2010, 10:31:33 PM »

You guys are so right, its almost funny! The puppy can turn into a devil in seconds. 

I sometimes forget that were dealing with emotionally instable people.

PS. A friend called and said my boyfriend was seen at the local bar the other day. Thats where he writes the love messages to me.
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