Facing Codependencey - Pia Melody

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Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives Author: Pia Mellody Publisher: HarperCollins (June 1989) Paperback: 272 pages ISBN-10: 0062505890 ISBN-13: 9780062505897

Book Description
"If anyone is serious about looking at the issue of codependence, Facing Codependence (and perhaps Facing Love Addiction, Mellody's book on that topic) is worth a look." ~ a member

Book Description
Pia Mellody creates a framework for identifying codependent thinking, emotions and behaviour and provides an effective approach to recovery. Mellody sets forth five primary adult symptoms of this crippling condition, then traces their origin to emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical and sexual abuses that occur in childhood. Central to Mellody's approach is the concept that the codependent adult′s injured inner child needs healing. Recovery from codependence, therefore, involves clearing up the toxic emotions left over from these painful childhood experiences.

About the Author
Pia Mellody is an internationally known lecturer on the childhood origins of emotional dysfunction. She is a member of the faculty at The Meadows Treatment Center, a residential center for victims of trauma, emotional abuse, and addictions, in Wickenburg, Arizona.

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It actually took me a long time to be able to read this book. It's not about BPD. It's about what happens when we grow up in families that damage us, and how we can repair the damage. Written in a clear-eyed and sympathic way, it includes a lot of personal stories and details overt and covert types of abuse. These can be difficult to read, and some members may want to skip sections. I did find it helpful to see some of the abuse descriptions and recognize things I didn't imagine had happened to anyone else. Also detailed are ways in which those damaged in these ways sabotage our own happiness and hurt others. When the time is right to take a close inward look at how the past has shaped us and how to change, this book is a compassionate guide.

People who swing to a polar opposite of a dysfunctional behavior to find recovery are invariably disappointed. This is because the opposite of dysfunctional behavior is more dysfunctional behavior, and that's not recovery. Functional behavior is somewhere near the center between two extremes.

--Pia Melody, Facing Codependence

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[survivorof2]

I have not read this book. It does sound interesting.

The last 6 years, I have been processing the details of how my FOO treated me most of my life. A good bit of their behavior I thought was "normal"    as they told me I was "too sensitive" and a "big baby" that I got hurt at their verbal abuse/physical abuse/sexual abuse. Still turning my thinking around. I have gone through many details of the sexual abuse with a counselor. I was so ashamed. I didn't realize it was sexual abuse. I knew I was uncomfortable and asked them to stop, but again, I was laughed at and told they weren't doing anything wrong. So many boundaries crashed through... .normal boundaries for most human beings.

I was born into a family of bullies: mother/father/2 sisters. uBPDparents even taught my own kids to bully me.

Still working through the details. Maybe some time when I'm feeling strong, I will look at the book.

[seeking balance]

This book is excellent at identifying root causes of codependency and how it can effect every avenue of our lives.

My T trained with Pia Melody which has been a huge asset to me. 

However, my T was not an expert in PD which neither of us recognized in my uBPDso. 

The opportunity to experience Survivors Week at the Meadows developed by Pia from this book is amazing.