Crazy girlfriend of ex-husband

[waitingforsunday]

I wasn't quite sure where to post this. If this is the wrong board, I apologize.

Long story short, I had a relationship with a man for 10 years who I strongly suspected of being BPD. I posted on these forums about him while dealing with our separation and divorce. He had met someone else and didn't tell me, I found out through Facebook. I filed for divorce, cut all ties and our divorce was final in April.

Fast forward to now. I get a text from my ex a couple weeks ago. We haven't talked since January. He writes a long paragraph apologizing for everything that happened and that he has been living with someone who he thinks has BPD. He has been communicating with me, mainly telling me about their relationship (fights, etc.). The night he texted me, she attacked him because he was trying to leave her. He sent me a picture of his arm where she scratched the hell out of it. She pulled his hair so hard it left bumps. He left and she started calling him saying she couldn't do it by herself (she is 5 months pregnant with his child) and that she was going to kill herself. He called the police and 911. They took her away and held her for 3 days (the max amount of time they can hold someone) and they also took her 1 year old child away.

He has also told me that during this time they were together (the last 8 months or so) she has been obsessed with me. She stalked my myspace, facebook, googled me, found ALL kinds of information about me. INCLUDING the information I had posted about my ex on THIS FORUM! (I thought everything that was posted here was private?) She talks about me all the time. Constantly accuses him of wanting to get back with me. Yesterday she called me. She wanted to know if I had been talking to him again and for how long (they are not even together now) and I told her to ask him. The conversation was a whole 2 minutes long. I tried my best to keep it short as I do not want to be involved in this drama. I divorced him for crying out loud!

After I got off the phone, my mother brought me the mail. I saw there was an "American Baby" magazine with my name and address. It all clicked after that. Recently I have also been getting phone calls from random numbers about me signing up for baby registries, health insurance, cruises, school. She was most likely the cause of it all. I have NEVER met this person and we do not even live in the same state! I have no idea why anyone would want to do this. It's like she thinks I should be jealous that she is carrying his child. Sorry, but I was with him for 10 years you loon. If I wanted his kid, I would have had one with him!

I guess I'm posting mainly to address the fact that people are able to find information we post on these forums! That really creeped me out. As far as the relationship with my ex goes, I will never go back to him. I now have a sense of peace and closure since he apologized. I found it quite funny that karma found him and is putting him through this after everything he put me through .

I'm happy where I am at the present time. I was always scared of being single but I find I am enjoying it (something I never thought I'd like!)

Thanks for listening!

[2010]

Yesterday she called me. She wanted to know if I had been talking to him again and for how long (they are not even together now) and I told her to ask him.

I disagree with the premise of this- that somehow- it's up to him to tell her the answer and that you are "happy where you are at the present" while still wrapped up in your ex's difficulties.  You determined that it was best to end the relationship and get divorced- but somehow- you've left the door open for a front row seat to the new relationship- and find it "funny" that everything (police, 911, suicide threats, pictures of abuse) is happening with the Ex.

Without boundaries, this appears as a *get even* tactic against the other woman, as it gives you satisfaction over "karma." And it gives her the appearance that you and he are in collusion against her *together*- yet, this somehow surprises you.

Obviously she is insecure. He is triangulating you with her and you... .are allowing it. Why are you still involved?

When do you turn your back and say NO to this drama?

[ForeverDad]

It is anonymous here, perhaps she she was successful with search word combinations or perhaps he knew and told her?  If you want to see which boards are visible when not logged in and which require member login for viewing then you can compare the list of boards displayed before and after logging in.

[waitingforsunday]

2010: Perhaps you misunderstood me. "Happy where I am" meaning that I have came a LONG way since I was in a relationship with him. I have been to a few counseling sessions. I have made my peace with what happened to me in the past. I hold no anger toward anyone. I am not trying to be in a relationship with anyone at present, as I am HAPPY being by myself and single.

As far as the "Why don't you ask him", this is the response she had for me when I approached her and asked if there was anything going on between them at the time. Somehow she feels like I should care about her feelings. I don't care about any of it and I had no control over her contacting me. She googled me and looked up my information or found my phone number through one of his old phones. She had no reason to contact me. What happened with me and my ex husband has nothing to do with her. If he felt the need to contact me and apologize that's fine, but again, it doesn't involve her.

I'm not trying to "get even" with anyone. I am living my life as best I know how and I did not ask for contact from either of them. I simply said it was "funny" not as in "haha funny" but "funny" in a weird way because of everything I've been through over the years with him. Now he's met someone else and was supposedly happy and she turned out to be a complete psycho.

My main point in posting was the fact that this person was able to read the information I had posted here before and I wanted to give some background info to go with it.

ForeverDad: I'm really not sure. There's no way he even knew about it. [Edit] I just found out there was a way to look up members by member name and e-mail. I'm sure she probably created a troll account and found my name. Hah. Pathetic.