Thank you 2010.
Obviously I was having a moment when I wrote this ... .I think I am starting to drive myself insane trying to understand the insanity of it all.
I was angry the other day but now I see I am back almost to the denial ... .I don't want this to be him and am finding it very difficult to accept that he didn't love me.
But you can't understand! How can we all understand something so crazy, so far from how we think, we feel, we behave? You'll really get insane if you keep trying to understand. Instead of focus on the disorder, if I were you I would focus on what you said "am finding it very difficult to accept that he didn't love me."
Me, I tried so hard to understand the disorder because I found so hard to accept he didn't love me (anymore).
Just a suggestion.