Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
October 18, 2021, 09:22:58 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Harri, Once Removed
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, I Am Redeemed, Mutt, Turkish
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Experts share their discoveries [video]
100
Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
A perspective on BPD
Ivan Spielberg, PhD
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: He's still texting...  (Read 1024 times)
lifeisgoodx10
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: divorced
Posts: 832


« on: November 28, 2010, 10:24:08 PM »

He texted me tonight... ."You know I love you." He had not texted in about three days. It's a week now total NC. I've been emotionally detatched for months. Last night I had a bad dream and awakened with beginnings of ruminations. I was able to look at the situation differently though. Instead of trying to analyze the dream or ruminate about xh/BPD/NPD I was able to say, "Thank God I got away from the r/s. Thank God I'm not in that mess anymore." Maybe  I can use the dream as a warning rather than a flea.

LIG  Smiling (click to insert in post)
Logged
2010
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 808


« Reply #1 on: November 29, 2010, 02:19:30 AM »

You're still in contact. He's still texting because he can. You're still accepting texts into your inbox. No contact means you block the texts. If your service provider doesn't allow you to do this, then you've got to delete the text yourself before reading it, not afterward.  You have to stop obsessing over him. No contact means you've made a decision to disallow any form of emotional blackmail to infect your mind.  Reading these texts is still keeping you transfixed and in the game.

No contact includes every single form of contact: mail/email, phone, fax, facebook, IM, texts - EVERYTHING.  Eventually the texts will stop. No contact does not mean counting the days between texts and worrying that they will stop.  Anything that gives you reason to reengage is dangerous to your health.  End the back and forth. No contact means you're done.

Some people consider the need for interaction with a Borderline partner as an addiction. If you are addicted, you've got to stop the drug dealer from knocking on your door and giving you your fix. Symbolically, blocking the door means blocking all electronic access- even reading the texts that he sends that give you what you want to hear. Idea


Logged
GlennT
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 899



« Reply #2 on: November 29, 2010, 03:58:44 AM »

If they keep hanging around your property trespassing, or keep knocking on your door pleading with you, do what I did: 1. Walk limp or ride to your local courthouse. You don't need any lawyer it's free to get a restraining order. Explain the situation. 2. Fill out all the forms. 3. Then call the police whenever they come around.
Logged

Always remember what they do:Idealize. Devalue. Discard.
Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.~ Churchill
brenbabe
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 455


« Reply #3 on: November 29, 2010, 04:09:54 AM »

you can include anything you want as a condition in a restraining order. Even no phone contact. As 2010 said, you can call your phone company and have his number blocked from your phone also. Or just delete every text before you read it.
Logged
lifeisgoodx10
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: divorced
Posts: 832


« Reply #4 on: November 29, 2010, 06:07:39 AM »

I actually do have his number labeled as DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! and have been deleting before reading but this one popped up as I was listening to a podcast and caught me off guard. At one time I did have smart limits which allowed me to block, but it has a small fee attatched. I am starting school in January and am cutting financial corners. This is one fee I may be best to pay. I appreciate all the input.

2010 it sounds as if you have ended your r/s and moved on without a hitch and without looking back. I will still look at it as NC from my end. But I do appreciate your expertise. Are you a councelor or doctor? You should be.
Logged
deb4321
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 133


« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2010, 11:35:18 PM »

yeah, i blocked his #, and eventually he got ahold of me via his mothers phone. frustrating. i mean, can ya take a hint?
Logged
The_411
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 464


« Reply #6 on: December 01, 2010, 12:44:34 AM »

Hate it when they "ghost". It's their way of seeing if you are still addicted like any good drug dealer they want to keep you hooked in ... .
Logged
lifeisgoodx10
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: divorced
Posts: 832


« Reply #7 on: December 01, 2010, 08:16:13 AM »

Excerpt
yeah, i blocked his #, and eventually he got ahold of me via his mothers phone. frustrating. i mean, can ya take a hint?

Deb, Same happened to me. I blocked his number he still got through. I then changed my number and he got hold of it (how?). I changed my number a second time and he still got it. I moved 200 miles away and he found me. I now have blocked his number and all e-mail addresses again. I think this time (fingers crossed) he may go away as he is getting tired. I know I'm tired! Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2021?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2021 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
Andi1956
Anondad
Cnvi
doghouse
drained1996
EyesUp
Harri
JD2028
lovenature
Mac5
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
old97
P.F.Change
Skip
snowglobe
Swimmy55
Teno
Turkish
wendydarling

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!