Perhaps the saddest thing is that this entire experience has left me realizing that I have had more of a relationship with this guy past and present then with the man I have been married to for the past 14 years.
Highly unlikely. Your relationship for the past 14 years was a true relationship- it just wasn't filled with fantasy. Fantasy thinking needs the reward of another person to engage our thoughts about what we feel deep inside about ourselves. It's best to speak to a professional about these things rather than recycling relationships.
There is a word for the married Men and Women who prey on vulnerable ex-lovers for attention. They are called "chickenhawks." Chickenhawks have marriages of their own (true relationships) but they need the fantasy reward of a third party relation to feel better about themselves. They go behind their spouses backs (that's the chicken part) and live double lives picking off vulnerable and wounded people for attention like hawks- not understanding nor caring that the vulnerable and wounded third party may have been attracted to them for rescuing and want to attach to make it a permanent "true relationship."
A true relationship would mean that divorce for a chickenhawk would victimize all involved and create persecuting, rescuing and victimizing patterns that disallow each person to take responsibility for themselves as separate entities. All parties would have to be aware that the jumping off from one marriage to another doesn't allow for fantasy (that you are saving each other = true love) to survive- Someone always gets more diminished than the other in the implications of neediness. Who is needier? = each person has their own interpretation.
When we are wandering through life after a divorce, confused and alone, fantasy thinking can also be a vulnerable entry point to our psyche, as we begin to formulate our thoughts and try to discuss them with this caring and most solicitous confidante who just so happens to come back into our lives at the right time. Be careful. That solicitous and caring confidante may be using you to distract themselves from their own issues.
It never ends well. Many people on the board have jumped from the frying pan to the fire by recycling ex-lovers before their marriage was over. This "first love" unfinished business is a fantasy you keep about each other. Meanwhile, reality awaits.  :)o you know her name? She needs him and you need him and he needs you both. That's need. When and if the time came for the two of you to be together, it would be based on mutual need- not love.
True love begins with loving yourself and knowing that you are going to be just fine on your own, without anyone else coming to your rescue as your Knight in shining armor. Allow yourself to feel the pain of loneliness and work through the thoughts that come up from your past relationship. 14 years is a long time to grieve. Find a trusted confidante, not one who is triangulating
(read definition) you with a third party. It is a mistake to think that this is the way out of your pain.