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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: Do diagnosed BP use their condition to get what they want?  (Read 363 times)
getnyc

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« on: December 13, 2010, 10:26:32 PM »

I wanted to meet with my dexBPDgf tonight and she said that it wouldnt be a good idea because  she was angry and the outcome would not be good.  She got mad at me because yesterday she told me although shes basically making decisions to breakup with me it doesn't mean that she still doesn't love me.  So I told her after that statement i need 5 scotches and made believe I was at a bar for a minute then I let her know I was home.  She got really mad saying I was messing with her head, and I said I was sorry but today 24 hours later she's still mad about it and didn't want to talk with me?  Could she still really that mad at my joke?  I didn't like hearing hey I'm breaking up with you but I still love you. 
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HardDaysNight
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« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2010, 10:54:50 PM »

In my personal experience with the pwBPD in my life, they use anything and everything to get what they want.  There are no bounds.  My daughter had an accident and cut herself and needed stiches, my wife's reaction, this ruined her whole day, she would never get out of the house now.  While blood is dripping through the towel. 

I was stunned, so were we all.  Luckily I had the presence of mind to tell her that was so messed up.  Call her on the carpet and we got my daughter to the emergency room and got her 5 stitches. 

You describe what I've seen here as the classic I hate you but please don't leave me, or in your case with a twist, I love you but I'm going to leave. 
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2010
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« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2010, 01:36:39 AM »

Excerpt
Could she still really that mad at my joke?

What joke? Didn't you want to guilt and blame her for your drinking 5 scotches because she's "making decisions to break up with you?"  If she loves you, she loves you. You cannot manipulate her guilt to prevent the break-up- but you can listen and get the message without playing martyr.

Perhaps it's best to stop contacting each other.
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odina
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« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2010, 01:44:20 AM »

sounds to me that shes lining you up for later use my friend... .cant be with you, but still love you... .i think that means... ." got to go and have some fun, and if i cant find another victim, i want you there so i can come back and use you a bit more" sorry if i sound harsh, but be aware... .

let her go... .be free, and find someone that loves you for who you are... .

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