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Author Topic: Yeah, why not... rub it in even more  (Read 1204 times)
JJay
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« on: December 17, 2010, 07:34:52 PM »

The last couple of days I was doing a bit better, although I was still thinking back sometimes about the good times and also the disrespect I was treated with. But anyway, today I received a text from her with the following: "Hey, how are you doing? I want you to let you know that I'm overdue and having symptoms of pregnacy. Love U! XXX". I don't know why, but I'm feeling so down at the moment. I hate her so much, I can't even explain and I don't care she's happy with him and f#cking him day and night to get pregnant. But why does this hurt so much and feeling so heartbroken about it? She just can't stop hurting me! Why... .:'(
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Checkmate
formerly "Circus Topper"
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« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2010, 07:37:56 PM »

I used to ask myself this all the time ... .I finally asked my partner what I did to deserve this ... .He just said he didn't know what I had done, he didn't think I had done anything ... .

That's when it hit me ... .I am letting this person hurt me ... .You have to stop letting them do it because they will keep hurting you for as long as they can ... .I don't know what it is about BPD but there seems to be an instinctive drive to create chaos and pain ... .
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seeking balance
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Relationship status: divorced
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« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2010, 07:43:36 PM »

Hi Jaker,

I am sorry for the pain you are in.  Each and every time you have contact it will hurt; so if you have the option to be No Contact (this means deleting texts and not reading or better yet, blocking them) it is your best way to move forward.

Try to do put yourself around people who care about you.  Usually when a pwBPD reaches out to you it is to alleviate some intense emotion they are feeling - this is not love or respect for you - it is about them.  Please do yourself a favor - take your power back from her.  She cannot hurt you if she cannot get to you.

Peace, SB
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Faith does not grow in the house of certainty - The Shack
2010
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« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2010, 09:50:12 PM »

There is no reason for you to be in the background while she is trying to conceive with another Man. There is no reason for you to present yourself as a shoulder to cry on, to gloat, to discuss her relationship, her hopes, her dreams. None of this has anything to do with you except as being used as a dumping ground.

Block all entry.  Do not let this person rent space in your head. Do not give her access.
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SSG

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« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2010, 11:10:29 PM »

... .She just can't stop hurting me! Why... .:'(

She keeps hurting you because you let her.  Change your phone number so she can no longer text.  It's a hassle for sure, but it will bring you peace.
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Undertowed
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Relationship status: BPD/AVPD exBF
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« Reply #5 on: December 17, 2010, 11:43:32 PM »

... .She just can't stop hurting me! Why... .:'(

She keeps hurting you because you let her.  Change your phone number so she can no longer text.  It's a hassle for sure, but it will bring you peace.

I agree wholeheartedly.  I love to leave 'em with unpleasant thoughts but in your tender state it's probably best to cut off all access.  It's pretty funny that she's so NOT fulfilled with this one that she's running back still trying to affect you.  What a douche! 
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Undertowed
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Relationship status: BPD/AVPD exBF
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« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2010, 02:57:57 PM »

The last couple of days I was doing a bit better, although I was still thinking back sometimes about the good times and also the disrespect I was treated with. But anyway, today I received a text from her with the following: "Hey, how are you doing? I want you to let you know that I'm overdue and having symptoms of pregnacy. Love U! XXX". I don't know why, but I'm feeling so down at the moment. I hate her so much, I can't even explain and I don't care she's happy with him and f#cking him day and night to get pregnant. But why does this hurt so much and feeling so heartbroken about it? She just can't stop hurting me! Why... .:'(

I forgot to tell you, if you want to know how "happily ever after turns out with a BPD mother, go to the family board about them.  You'll see the truth in black and white.  I have a BPD mother and can tell you she will torture the crap out of this guy, cheat like crazy, and abuse her children.  Don't feel sad.  You dodged a massive bullet!
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anker
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Relationship status: in a good relationship now with a kind fellow
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« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2010, 03:01:10 PM »

That text may as well have said "aren't you glad you dodged a bullet"

You are lucky. It may not feel that way right now but it's true. x
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FoolishOne
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
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« Reply #8 on: December 18, 2010, 03:02:21 PM »

Jaker Jay:

Your only hope is to block all contact altogether... .this hit_ is out to get you... .she'll psychologically devastate you... .don't allow it to happen... .NC!
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JJay
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« Reply #9 on: December 18, 2010, 10:11:22 PM »

Thanks guys for the replies and support. I'm so glad I found this place with people that understand and it helps me alot to get ovet that psycho b#tch!

And yeah, I did dodge the bullet. I've seen the horror stories and I wish the poor guy good luck. I'm so glad I wasn't that stupid to make a baby with. She really wanted that from me and just jumped on me one day, grabbed me by my arms and said: "I want a baby from you and going for it now". But I refused in first place to have sex with her without a rubber on. But she since I was in love with her and totally overwhelmed that we did it without one eventually and I still don't get why I was so stupid. Also regarding STD's. Anyway, all of a sudden something said to me: Don't do it, it's wrong and I stopped. Angels maybe? LOL. I told her that I couldn't do it and she understand she said. Maybe also a reason why she dropped me? Just a thought. We had no sex anymore after this event and shortly after she dumped me and moved on with that guy.

Regarding the phone no. blocking: I can't find that feature on my phone and changing my no. is maybe an option. But I have this one for years now and just renewed my plan. But I'll contact my provider and hope they can block her no. and if not I'll be forced to change my no. then... .*sigh* Crazy ass b#tch!

Once again, just being here with you people makes me feel way better... .thanks a lot!
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canucky
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« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2010, 01:45:21 AM »

Just a thought... .if she ever text you again. Just reply back... .who is this since I think you have the wrong number to who you are looking for?

Might work since you can keep your cell number and she will think you have a new number?

Cheers,

Canucky
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eclipsed

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« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2010, 11:05:35 PM »

Well NC is all well and good but what do you do when you still have shared care with your child? This is making things hell. We have pickups/drop offs and sometimes due to her drunkenness and late nights some times I have to take care of our son outside normal arrangements

Received a picture SMS of her topless this week (she appeared drunk in the pic) and then found out she sent it to three other guys who she is in frequent contact with.

I was doing better up to that point and deleted the text now and trying to move on. Asked her why she sent it and her response was because she wanted me 'to see her'. Just kills inside at the moment it going to other guys (I dont want to know about that). Guess if I had truly let go it shouldnt bother me but it does. Trying to scrap what self esteem I can back together to keep moving on
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fogbound
formerly "reevega"
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« Reply #12 on: December 20, 2010, 10:38:15 AM »

Imagine the poor child who's "daddy" gets changed at least once a year?
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FoolishOne
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 315



« Reply #13 on: December 20, 2010, 12:10:14 PM »

Good point Fogbound... .my stbxBPDw has a child with autism... .so his world gets even more confusing.
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