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Poll
Question: How many break-up/make-up cycles have you been through? [Note: please update your answer if you have another one in the future]
None
1-2 (not unusual)
3-5 (unhealthy)
6 - 10 (very unhealthy)
10 or more (wow)
We haven't broken up
Other

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Author Topic: SURVEY | Break-up/make-up cycles  (Read 49559 times)
joc1970

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 14


« Reply #90 on: April 28, 2015, 12:03:03 PM »

Every recycle gotten shorter and more pain for me, The last one lasted only 2 days
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McGahee21
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 111


« Reply #91 on: April 29, 2015, 03:18:32 PM »

its been about 10 plus x, just ridiculous.  some of it my own undoing.  but whatever.

after throwing all her crap out of my car, i was just like idc.  its just tiresome... .

its whatever, its emotionally draining... .
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Polis_Ohio
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 91


« Reply #92 on: November 25, 2015, 08:20:15 AM »

Mine has not come back or has tried. In her mind breaking up is a finality despite what she actually feels. She cannot handle the stress of trying to "work it out".

I guess we are not walking now, she never responded to our plans.
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hopealways
aka moving4ward
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 725


« Reply #93 on: November 25, 2015, 10:57:13 AM »

Always wondered if the breakup cycles this poll refers to is an actual break up or includes periods of no contact/distancing?
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alwaysT_Time

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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 11


« Reply #94 on: December 04, 2015, 11:52:52 AM »

Before this person I had never gone through any make-up/break-up cycle. Whenever I broke up with someone before, that was it - no further contact until years later, possibly.

With this person, it has been 6 or more times - being pushed away, then pulled back. I acknowledge my role in it - and am learning more why I got so invested and sucked in.

According to them it was all my doing, I trapped them and manipulated them into getting involved with me - even me implanting psychic hooks into them.

Last I heard they are getting a restraining order against me - I have no interest in maintaining contact with them, so regardless of how that goes, it will not affect my future. It is just hurtful and unnerving.
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FSTL
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 191


« Reply #95 on: January 09, 2017, 03:39:55 PM »

I have a mildly BPD ex.

At first she would push me away, saying she didn't want to do a long term relationship. We would message later in the day, and then spend the night together.

Then when I wouldn't fully commit (due to her behaviour), she dumped me in a big dramatic move. Then I begged her to take me back, which she did.

Then I told her I needed space, she begged me to take her back. She put me under pressure for months to be with her. Then, the day when I said I was ready to commit, she told me she had been with another guy and then told me she didn't want to be with me. It became a power thing - I begged her to take me back. She took me back, then rejected me. This went on for a month, then I finally said that's enough - are we together or not? She said no... .and then she asked me to stay the night. And the weekend. Then on Monday it was over. We had a drink on Thursday, she yelled at me for being possessive and said it was over. I messaged her on the way home and asked her where I should leave her stuff. She exploded and said I had made her feel like ___. Then that night she stayed over and we were together for months, before she cheated on me again. She said it was over. I said fine and pushed her away. Then she dropped by and we have sex and a few weeks together. Then she said she could only do something non-exclusive, so I finally broke things off with her and that's where we stand.

I was depressed a lot of the time we were together and was walking on egg shells. I miss her presence, but the more distance between us, the more I realise she was only a shell of a person and our relationship was incredibly unhealthy - I said 8 breakups when I did the survery, but writing this out I realised it was a lot more than than. I lost count!

I still miss her and think about her a lot when I am triggered (all the time), but I now know I can't go back as the pain just isn't worth it.

I have met other girls, one of them incredibly nice, but can't connect with them. I am trying to hold on to the very nice girl I met... .am hoping I can hang on longer on move on with my new GF.
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QBert

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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 47


« Reply #96 on: February 26, 2018, 07:09:27 PM »

I would love to vote, but I'm not sure what defines a breakup.  We've lived together for several years and in that course of time she's talked about breaking up several times.  She's even made it as far as packing several bags into her car a few times and driving off for up to 15 minutes (before coming back to make up).  If a break-up is a fight where I've been told we are breaking up, then I've had over 10.  If a breakup is her actually moving out and staying gone for at least a night, then we've never broken up.

What do others think constitutes a break-up?
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Skip
Site Director
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 7960


« Reply #97 on: February 26, 2018, 09:32:24 PM »

I would love to vote, but I'm not sure what defines a breakup.  We've lived together for several years and in that course of time she's talked about breaking up several times.  She's even made it as far as packing several bags into her car a few times and driving off for up to 15 minutes (before coming back to make up).  If a break-up is a fight where I've been told we are breaking up, then I've had over 10.  If a breakup is her actually moving out and staying gone for at least a night, then we've never broken up.

What do others think constitutes a break-up?

In your case, not coming home.   Being cool (click to insert in post)
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QBert

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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 47


« Reply #98 on: March 01, 2018, 09:55:35 AM »

In your case, not coming home.   Being cool (click to insert in post)

Thank you.  I will vote accordingly.
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