Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
February 23, 2024, 07:47:53 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Poll
Question: Where are you on the mentoring continuum
*Seasoned Mentor - I know the basic psychology concepts. I have a balance/mature outlook.
*Mentor - I'm starting to makes sense of it all. I have mostly balance/mature tone (not always).
*Novice Mentor - Learning. Much to learn. Emotions get triggered when reading other members stuff.
*In Crisis  - I struggling emotionally every day
*I'm not into this.
*Other

Pages: 1 [2]  All   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Are you a mentor or working to become one?  (Read 581 times)
Sadly
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Very Single
Posts: 886



« Reply #30 on: March 24, 2017, 09:26:52 AM »

Put myself in crisis group. Nowhere near mentoring. I love this place though, it's mint.
I do try to help though, and sometimes I make people laugh.
Love from
Sadly x
Logged

Never let someone be your priority whilst you remain their option
marti644
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 313


« Reply #31 on: March 24, 2017, 01:22:52 PM »

Great thread Skip,

In general I have nothing but good things to say about the forum. Generally speaking, everyone is super compassionate and understanding.

I am still a novice here, but I am finding that more and more the key to the healing process is helping new members and listening to the older ones. Sometimes the advice I give or others gives doesn't come from the right place, and I have been known to bash "BPDs" a time or too. But overall I don't think that this is a major problem. Someone always steps in and most of the forums I have used have been super helpful on a number of levels.

One suggestion to help avoid bashing is to looking closer in the discussions at the outcomes of those with BPD. Putting a human side to their long-term suffering and early trauma has sure made me much more sympathetic to my BPD-ex.

Sometimes I think we focus too much on what they did to us, and less on what they have done to themselves and will continue to do to themselves if they move on (the balance between these two things is tricky of course). In the ":)ealing with the end of a BPD relationship" board more perspectives like this in the actual discussions would help I think, especially for members who have been involved for over a month or so, who start seeing that blaming the BPD for the whole relationship is not a conducive path to healing.

Not sure if this is possible but just a thought.
Logged
lovenature
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 731


« Reply #32 on: March 30, 2017, 10:38:05 PM »

Hey Sadly, you have helped others more than you know and give yourself credit for, and along the way you have been helping yourself too.
Keep going one day at a time.
Logged
SinisterComplex
Senior Ambassador
*
Online Online

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken Up
Posts: 1164



« Reply #33 on: December 20, 2019, 10:18:38 AM »

I had no choice, but to respond and say I hope I have helped others on this forum in my short time here. I joined because it has been a catalyst to get me going toward using my education, knowledge, experience, and passion to help others. Additionally, at some point moving forward I am hoping to get my own blog started and perhaps make a side job of it as an online mentor/life coach with the intent to change lives in a positive manner one life at a time.

Anyway, thanks for bumping this Skip.

Cheers!

-SC-

Logged

Through Adversity There is Redemption!
mama-wolf
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 540



WWW
« Reply #34 on: December 20, 2019, 02:22:38 PM »

I really struggled with what to put for my vote, so I went with Other.  I have responded to a few members' posts--not so much lately, but earlier in my journey--and I think I have done so with a pretty high level of understanding of the psychological concepts and a balanced/mature approach.

Just as often...or maybe more often...I find myself in a space of crisis and ongoing emotional turmoil, so I am in no position to mentor anyone.  During those times, I know I can't do much more than offer a little validation of someone else's experience.  I still try that sometimes, but other times I just avoid the board (not the best approach).

But there have been a few times when I have posted during my darker, more painful moments and my own post has gone for days with no response.  Intellectually, I know there are a myriad of reasons for why that might be which have nothing to do with me or my post.  It takes a lot of effort for me to move beyond the intellectualization and acknowledge that this doesn't change the fact that I am still left feeling disappointed and alone.

I keep coming back to the board because I know its value.  I know I need the support of this community, and I want to get to the point where I can consistently contribute more to it myself.  Ongoing contact with my uBPDxw due to co-parenting two kids makes it really difficult to make progress with healing, but I'm clawing my way down that path regardless.

mw
Logged

once removed
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
**
Online Online

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 12551



« Reply #35 on: September 13, 2021, 10:47:50 AM »

Move to the top
Logged

     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
Pages: 1 [2]  All   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Links and Information
CLINICAL INFORMATION
The Big Picture
5 Dimensions of Personality
BPD? How can I know?
Get Someone into Therapy
Treatment of BPD
Full Clinical Definition
Top 50 Questions

EDITORIAL DEPARTMENTS
My Child has BPD
My Parent/Sibling has BPD
My Significant Other has BPD
Recovering a Breakup
My Failing Romance
Endorsed Books
Archived Articles

RELATIONSHIP TOOLS
How to Stop Reacting
Ending Cycle of Conflict
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Values and Boundaries
On-Line CBT Program
>> More Tools

MESSAGEBOARD GENERAL
Membership Eligibility
Messageboard Guidelines
Directory
Suicidal Ideation
Domestic Violence
ABOUT US
Mission
Policy and Disclaimers
Professional Endorsements
Wikipedia
Facebook

BPDFamily.org

Your Account
Settings

Moderation Appeal
Become a Sponsor
Sponsorship Account


Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!