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Author Topic: my daughter  (Read 543 times)
ngari
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
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« on: December 21, 2016, 06:33:06 AM »

hi not really sure where to start, my daughter has been diagnosed with BPD and two weeks ago she was sectioned under the mental health act 2, even though i have a very supportive partner i feel so alone in trying to help my daughter. Her dad doesn't really bother with her, which just adds to fear of abandoment. I am constantly trying to reasure her that i am with her every step of the way with this battle and that she is not fighting this alone, she says she knows this but i don't think she truley believes me. i just need some advice on how i can help her because at the moment i feel i am letting her down.
I am visiting her as often as i can which is usually a couple of times a week but am constantly either texting her or calling her but i feel she is getting annoyed with this, i just don't know what to do. She is always trying to push me away (which i know is part of the BPD) and i just try to reasure her that no matter how hard she trys to push me away im not going anywhere.
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Kwamina
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« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2016, 07:16:21 AM »

Hi ngari

Sorry to hear this about your daughter, I can imagine how difficult this must be for you as her mother to see her having these problems. When was she diagnosed? Did she already get any targeted treatment for her issues before she got sectioned?

I am constantly trying to reasure her that i am with her every step of the way with this battle and that she is not fighting this alone, she says she knows this but i don't think she truley believes me.

Why do you think she does not truly believe you?

... .am constantly either texting her or calling her but i feel she is getting annoyed with this

Do you feel like you are constantly texting or calling her because she wants/needs it it or is it perhaps more because this is something you want/need? Could it perhaps be that you are (also) doing this to reassure yourself that she is alright and knows you care about her?

BPD is a very challenging disorder and I can definitely understand why you are having a hard time with this. That's why I'm glad you are reaching out here for support and advice. I encourage you to take a look at the tools and lessons in the right-hand side margin of this board, specifically the ones about communicating such as listening with empathy, validation and S.E.T. which stands for Support, Empathy and Truth.

It is tough, but now that she's been diagnosed, you at least know what you are dealing with and your daughter can get targeted treatment for her disorder.

Take care and welcome to  bpdfamily
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Mutt
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« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2016, 08:19:55 AM »

Hi ngari, 

Welcome

I'd like to join Kwamina and welcome you. I'm sorry to hear that.

Excerpt
I am visiting her as often as i can which is usually a couple of times a week but am constantly either texting her or calling her but i feel she is getting annoyed with this, i just don't know what to do.

Don't be hard on yourself. It's huge help for a loved one with mental illness to be able to share their disorder with someone else so they don't feel like have to go through it alone.
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