Did your BPD parent euthanize or give away your pet?

[Lavandula]

I am so sorry to everyone who lost pets because of the mental illness of their parents.

My mom never got rid of pets, but she didn't take care of my cat I had growing up. One day when I was a teenager my cat started acting like she wasn't feeling well and only my younger brother was home with me. She started having pretty violent uncontrollable body convulsions and I was with my brother crying on the floor as we tried to hold her and I was so scared and just praying out to God. I called my mom and said that I thought she was dying and I remember her sounding like she didn't believe me, but she came home. Eventually my cat calmed down and when my mom got home we took her to a vet who said she had kidney failure and my mom decided to put her to sleep. I don't think I had ever cried so hard in my life and I still miss her to this day. I have carried guilt with me over it, even though it was my mom's responsibility to have my cat's health looked after.

She does act weird over how much I care for my cats. Honestly, the largest portion of my income probably goes to buying their food and vet bills. She once likened me to my grandmother on my dad's side (who was not an affectionate or warm woman) saying that how I treated my cats reminded me of her and that really hurt me. My grandmother stopped contacting us, her grandchildren, after my parents divorced and I was only in middle school when that happened. Oh, and my parents had cats when I was born and there has never been a time when there wasn't at least one cat in the house.

[Classicford]

My ex borderline gave my dog iron tablets poisoning her. She said she liked her at the start of the relationship, but it was a lie. My mum called down to my house 1 day it was chucking it down with rain. My poor cockerspanial had been left out all day while she sat in the room. My mum went berserk. She just made a load of excuses up why. A few weeks later, she was dead.
I bought her daughter 2 guinea pigs. After I got the got the courage to leave after I found her on a dating app looking for a new man, that was the last straw my mum got a message saying both guinea pigs had died. When I went to collect my belongings from the garage went she wasn't in as I'd been refused my things. There was 2 empty cages. Theses people are cruel horrible and have no remorse for anything. Trouble is of you've never heard of these conditions and these kinds of people you find out when it's 2 late. Just learn the tuff the lesson.

[Notwendy]

Wow- It's wild that this thread came up. Yes, my BPD mother did that too- give away a pet.  I didn't know it would be as common with a BPD parent.

[js friend]

Yes my mother did this!

My dad brought some kittens from the pub and woke me up to show me them. He brought them home in a cardboard box and put them in the kitchen. The next morning I woke up and petted the kittens before I went to school. I told all my friends at school about these kittens and I was so excited to go home and see them but when I got home they were gone. My mum had got rid of them while I was at school! She said that she didnt have want them messing up her home. Needless to say I was devastated and have always wondered what she did with them as her story often changed when I asked. I have never felt close to my mum and she has always treated me as the scapegoat child, but I was always close to my dad which she always resented.

Recently I told my older brother the story about the kittens and what our mum had done. He had no idea we even had them as he hadnt seen them at all.

[js friend]

My ex borderline gave my dog iron tablets poisoning her. She said she liked her at the start of the relationship, but it was a lie. My mum called down to my house 1 day it was chucking it down with rain. My poor cockerspanial had been left out all day while she sat in the room. My mum went berserk. She just made a load of excuses up why. A few weeks later, she was dead.
I bought her daughter 2 guinea pigs. After I got the got the courage to leave after I found her on a dating app looking for a new man, that was the last straw my mum got a message saying both guinea pigs had died. When I went to collect my belongings from the garage went she wasn't in as I'd been refused my things. There was 2 empty cages. Theses people are cruel horrible and have no remorse for anything. Trouble is of you've never heard of these conditions and these kinds of people you find out when it's 2 late. Just learn the tuff the lesson.

This is sooo sad.

I think this all to do with jealousy. The pets were taking the attention away from your bpdex and she couldnt handle it so hence she did what she did, and when she found out that you had blown her cover when you discovered her looking for a new man on the dating sites she had to get rid of all connection left towards you too.

[Notwendy]

With my BPD mother, I didn't think it was about competition but maybe to her it was? I just didn't think of it that way but maybe so. I thought it was an inconvenience for her. She doesn't like pets but we talked her into a puppy when I was old enough to take care of it and I did, but also there were times we were in school so I thought maybe she just didn't like having it around. Looking back on how it was done was inappropriate- she threatened to leave if we didn't agree to give the dog away. We were pretty young and so this scared us. So maybe it was to her some kind of competition- to prove we'd choose her.

[Methuen]

This is an interesting thread.

I wasn't allowed to have a pet.  As an only child with a jekyl/hyde mother, I wanted one so badly.  But now that I understand BPD, and read these stories, it was probably better that I didn't have one. 

Still I have a story to share.

A few years ago (probably 10) when my mother still had some mobility and could do things, she was v e r y frustrated by all the crows around her house.  I think they were drinking out of her eaves troughs or something.  She didn't like all their "cawing".  So she came up with a plan.

She ground up some glass into powder, put it in hamburger (I think), and baited them.  She told me this with "pride".  She felt "smart".  I was aghast. 

“That’s a terrible thing to do to an animal mom!”

“I don’t want them around here. “

She did this for months.

Not surprisingly the uninvited guests dwindled in numbers, and the season changed.  Winter came. 

She stopped complaining about the crows. I guess they stopped coming.

What strikes me in reading this thread, is the narcissism, and the lack of empathy.

[Skip]

This is very hard to read.