Have any of found that your BPDs were vindictive and hurtful?

[g00dness]

My BPDex was trying to line someone up for a month before he broke it off with me. He was trying to get with acquaintances of ours, the whole time painting them black to me in case they came forward. Luckily, in my case, he seemed to be really spiraling and got a little too outta control going back and forth between others trying to paint multiple people black and calling me a psycho ("the crazy ones always seem so sweet" he told someone... .made me realize the whole last month we were going out he was hoping people were looking at him like the victim in this relationship).

Some of the other folks figured out his game and that was his last ditch back to me. Told me he had moved out of his friend's house (where'd he been staying since I found two online dating sites after going with my gut) - he, in fact, was kicked out. Then proceeded to tell me how horrible of a situation that was and that he was still so in love with me. Then a week and a half later he broke up with me via text and was married less than a week after that.

But everything's out now. I'm not glad others got hurt, but I am glad there is at least a group of folks who understand the severity of what's going on. Others realize he's changed (new host) and gone off his rocker but don't really get the vindictiveness and seriousness of it. He's since sent threatening texts (I got a restraining order against him) because he knows his friendship circle has shrunk and he's got justify his actions somehow... .so it's all me. And he's angry... really angry. No contact's the way to go - I feel like refusing to engage is gonna be the only way I'm gonna get on with my life.

All we can control are our own actions and all we've got is our own truth.

[westgate]

brandrew, I know where you are coming from... .

I will never forget the culmination of a 3 day rage with ex (well before I knew about boundaries or validation)... .

I reached breaking point after my ex threatened suicide as I wasn't "listening to what I'd done wrong"... .as I walked towards the front door she totally chilled out, the tears stopped and she calmly said "oh so you've finally had enough you fu**ing coward"... .:'(

Whatever she's up to now I wish her well, whoever her new partner is, I pity them... .

Newton, this post touched me a lot.

Being threatened with suicide of someone you love is overwhelming... then being called a fu*king coward because you are struggling to cope with it hurts like nothing else. Then realising it was flicked like a switch... awww.

I know that hurt. A lot. I truly hope you are doing well and can eventually find your peace with what happened.

Take care mate,

Westgate

[icesoul]

Hi!... .To be with a BPD for any length of time, it is a cold FACT that we NoN BPD's have to 100% co-sign all there bulsl----t.It's simple.Co-sign it or Leave.

When they paint you black because you confronted there sick,immature,actions and behaviors they become hostile,manipulative,lie,vindictive and then they run away like a little child.(boo hoo hoo hoo).I will take my toys and go play elsewhere.Because i am a self centered,immature,little baby.

Then they go surround themselves with people that will CO-SIGN all there bulls----t.Those people they surround themselves with are usually as SICK as the BPD.They make up tall tale stories how you beat the kids,beat the dog,beat her/him, and had sex with a Gerbal in the living room wathing All In The Family.They call the police and tell the police you did unbaleivable acts of ''ABUSE'' and they try to have you put away in a Prison Cell.

They are ''RELENTLESS''... It's the sickest sh--it i have ever seen or heard come out of another person's mouth that ''profess'' there undying love to you.They HATE personal responsability.It will always be you to BLAME.The closer you get to there ''Real Person'' and take away there Fisad they will unleash Torment on you like you never seen before.

How do i no this?I was locked up from a BPD some years ago for ''false alligations''.I am truly innocent but she set it up so perfect.She went to the extreme of Punching Herself and beat herself up.Took pics and called police.Wow!... .Great Lengths to prove they are not the sick twisted nut job they truly are.

Then it starts all over again and again and again.Different job,different friends,different state,different men,different police dept.All in there quest to run from the cold hearted facts they are simply Mentally Ill.This to me is why it is easier for them to just have sex then be in a long term comitted INTIMATE partnership.

To me they are very close to a SOCIOPATH and PYSCHOPATH.

Samething happened to me, she got arrested, harmed herself saying I did it. I forgave the first time , brought her back, she got angry again. And started another , false police allegations, luckily I made prior police reports , called family violence unit and recorded her ... this is how retarded the law is, they arrested me anyway for her lies. She said she was afraid for her life yet was laughing with cops while I was in cuffs in front of my child (sad)... .

These people are ruthless if you give slight criticism. I was not an enabler so she took revenge. She had the best BPD mind helping her "her mom" who was Keen on ruining our marriage, she thought she could give both of us marital advice when she married 3xtimes ... she got me locked up

2weeks later, pics on Facebook with ReplAcement sitting with my 3kids while she was pregnant., Just sick... broke my heart. I cried but it's ok, took me 6mintjs to heal , I still suffer but got stronger. The law is screwed , protect yourself Guys... Hopefully I win custody, it's a lot of waste of years, time, and kids going to get broken home., She picked the biggest loser pervert for replacement. She got the ultimate abandonememt, her family , my family, her friends all are on my side except her evil mom and her side of moms family... .It's a  big circus

[APB0613]

God yes! Incredibly vindictive. After my ex "decided" he was done with me he posted on my Facebook that I was HIV positive! Can't even wrap my head around that. Even though he wanted to break up it was the mentality of "if I can't have you no one will. " Not only did he do that, a few days later he wanted to get back together! Delusional.

[Huh?]

Yes.  Ive never experienced a break up like this (with my BPD ex fiance) in my entire life... .or heard of a break up like this.  When she was done, she was done... .any contact for closure after her decision to leave was made out to be because I was a stalker/harasser, etc.  She was cold and nasty, and Im sure she sold me as a psycho... .when in fact, I was just bewildered.  I still have no idea what the circumstances for our break up was... .the REAL cirmcumstances anyway... .and that is the crazy part... .trying to heal when you have no idea the reason for the wound (other than the roller coaster called BPD) is impossible, it feels like anyway.  

Well this is weird.  This thread is so old that here I am talking about my ex that brought me to this board... .and now I'm back because of my most recent experience with my waif/hermit ex.

A real wake up call that I need to work on myself and my boundaries.

I can say six years later, I know the circumstances now to the reason this first ex cut me off, she cheated.  Surprise, surprise.

[bus boy]

They are never wrong, if you call them on a lie they just fabricate another lie for the lie or a great web of manipulating half truths. In my experience, Xw always had something belittling to say, she was a covert expert, when I was discarded for good, Xw turned into her real self, a vicious, vindictive, hurtful emotional abuser. That's what the do, that's what they are. We have seen the real them so they seek to destroy, while the rest of the world sees the street angel we know the kitchen devil.