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Author Topic: Just because they were CRAZY . . .  (Read 5425 times)
bdpkok

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« Reply #30 on: October 02, 2011, 06:57:17 AM »

Interesting stuff, using SEX as WEAPON!

There were situations that often after the fights she would come to me and without any word start "the sexual seductions" and I dig it!

So I remember one time (and many as well) after we had rageous fight, she come to me and we had sex. It was strange to me how somebody who was verry rageous and upset one minute ago, now want to be intimate with me!

After the sex (which was amazing) I asked her why she did that and her answer was:

"I dont wanna go sleep with that feeling (after the fight) between us!"

So as You all can see, this was a classical example of using sex as a weapon but I didnt understand that at a moment. I think she did, she knew what she was doing verry well! I was so blinded man, so blinded!

Thank God is over!
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Willy
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« Reply #31 on: October 02, 2011, 07:23:35 AM »

Sex was definitely about control. I only now realize where her irritated response to me wanting to prospone sex came from. Very early on she indicated she wanted sex. I told her I wanted to wait a bit. Days/weeks after she was very irritated about it. I think its normal to talk about it after seeing/dating each other for weeks, but every time I brought it up the dragon eyes came. It was her way of control, and she couldn't use it in the beginning. Later on she did of course. When I tried to initiate sex afterwards she refused. She had to be in control and it had to be on her terms! Also later on it was her who prosponed sex of course.
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jhan6120
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« Reply #32 on: October 02, 2011, 08:41:30 AM »

Sex was such a convulted thing for my ex. She used it as a weapon/control mechanism, and she also used it to treat her emotional dysregulation. Many times, she said to me, "Sex with you calms me down." The first few times she said it, it creeped me the hell out and I wanted to jump out the window and run. But after a while, I blocked it out.

Now I have to come to grips with the fact that I was able and willing to block it out. There were no victims in my game, only VOLUNTEERS. There was something about the person I was when I met her that I don't want to be anymore.
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Sabine
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« Reply #33 on: October 02, 2011, 12:41:02 PM »

Mine used it as a weapon too. He'd send me sex related text messages after a fight, he'd say he just needed to physically with me and then everything would be okay. That was the 'magic solution' to everything going wrong. A little time together in bed would 'fix' it - and for awhile, it would... .until it wasn't worth the trade off!

I literally used to think, "This is all we really have going on in this dysfunctional r/s?" Get out while you still can! So I did. Now I just push those 'magical solution' thoughts away so I don't get any stupid ideas to go back!  Smiling (click to insert in post)
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butrflyblue
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« Reply #34 on: October 02, 2011, 01:22:55 PM »

Things with him always seemed a little off. His favorite thing to say to me when I uncovered a lie or sexual misdeed was "some people just don't think like you do."  Meaning you should question my craziness. Just continue to let me get away with everything I do all in the name of CRAZY. It was like living in the mad hatters tea party. Fewer and fewer things made sense as the days went on.
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jhan6120
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« Reply #35 on: October 02, 2011, 02:22:37 PM »

Things with him always seemed a little off. His favorite thing to say to me when I uncovered a lie or sexual misdeed was "some people just don't think like you do."  Meaning you should question my craziness. Just continue to let me get away with everything I do all in the name of CRAZY. It was like living in the mad hatters tea party. Fewer and fewer things made sense as the days went on.

Yeah, the creeping sense of 'That dog just don't hunt.'

I actually said that to my ex once and she had no idea what the saying meant. When I said it again, she said it annoyed her.
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ve01603
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« Reply #36 on: October 02, 2011, 05:50:17 PM »

Hooray! Wish I had done that sooner.

Me too.
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ve01603
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« Reply #37 on: October 02, 2011, 05:52:26 PM »

That made me feel like cheering!  

How about this one:  My Dad was dying of pancreatic cancer last fall (in fact three days before he died).  We are picking up my brother at the airport and h is yelling at me because I didn't want D to come to the hospice.  She had seen him a few days before and the sight of her grandpa really shocked her.  I told her she needn't come, I did not want to upset her.  Anyways he is arguing with me all the way to airport and I am trying to explain that my intentions were in the right place, I didn't want D to be upset.  He threatened to leave me in the parking lot of the airport.  What a CRAZY b@$turd.  

I should have done what you did - thrown him and his stuff out the house right then and there.  No empathy whatsoever.  I think they feel upstaged by the whole thing. Sick and  Sickening.

Munchxo

Can't wait until he treats a few other people that way.  People that he triangulated me with.  I would pay money to see the looks on their faces.
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ve01603
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« Reply #38 on: October 02, 2011, 05:56:05 PM »

I moved with her in the town some 50 km from my home. So it was summer and I was on vacation.All 14 days I had been with her (in her town) no seeing my friends and family for a long time (i realise it is my fault also, but it seems that she did not like my mother and my friends too). One day my mother called me to say where the hell am I, and why I do not come visit my parents?

So I tell me exBPDgf that I am going to visit my parents town to see they and to see my friends! She said ok!

So I am in my town after a long time (50km of distance), enjoing with my parents and friends. The next day I had plan to come back but in the evening I got this text:

"Why you when you are with your friends are capable to do anything and when you are with me you are doing nothing. Why you leave me? Explaine that!"

Me: Are You serious with that you wrote me?

Her: yes I am! I am serious!

Me: Ok, for one hour I am at the apartment and I will EXPLAIN TO YOU!

So I take in the car and drove to this city we re living and wait for her! I waited her for 3 ing hours to come but she didnt come. So I wrote an letter explain everything to her! I wrote a text that I will go back home and return for two day to give her a time to think about everything!

An hour later She calls me being verry upset because I didnt call her (I wrote a text message) and that she had to walk all tired because her work from her parents house to our apartment! (its some 500 meters of walk, cca 2 minutes!). So aftter all I gave to her, risked for her,... .she is now yelling on me because she had to walk 2 minutes? that was my decision moment after I realised that I must go because no matter I do it will never be enought for and I allways will be guilty for doing something and never be right"!

God bless that I found this board and You beautifull people because I started to loose myself and going nuts! I was in hell and come back!

After a while she text me two mesages to humiliyate me so I wrote to her one final text explaing all to her in a decent and mature way. I ended the message with AMENin the end!

She must have been bonkers.  I can't even follow this story.
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ve01603
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« Reply #39 on: October 02, 2011, 06:00:05 PM »

My xBPDgf was the quite waif BPD, so it was hard to see the craziness from the start.

The first b/u was after she went AWOL with my car (I actually reported the car stolen). After a few days I saw the car again in front of her place and wanted to drive away with it. The car was a mess with her stuff. I put her stuff in a bag and put it in front of her door. Just when I wanted to drive away she came out. She lured me back in. The first time she did her puppy eyes act. She claimed to have forgotten my appointment, her mobile was broke and she tried to call me but got my voicemail. Passive aggresive behavior and hidden gaslighting. She didn't apologize either. I would have saved myself a lot of headaches if I would have just driven away that day.

Second time was when I was becoming a nervous rack. Sleep depravation and anxiety. I just said it doesn't work and I am breaking up.

After more b/u's, with the final one I snapped. Got everything of my chest and left. After that no recycling efforts from her side.

Mine took my car once when I was napping on a Saturday afternoon and then would not answer his phone.  I left him a message stating the time and saying that if he was not back by a certain time, I would call the police and report it stolen.  No response.  Luckily my son was visiting and I borrowed his car (It's in my name but I still asked permission like a normal person) and when driving around and found him at the grocery store. 
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Clearmind
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« Reply #40 on: October 02, 2011, 06:27:25 PM »

Sex is certainly a weapon - mine started to withdraw a lot.

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cyndiloowho
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« Reply #41 on: October 02, 2011, 07:23:50 PM »

Just looking over the last two weeks... .

My H learns of my plans to leave and is (understandably) upset, and the following day tells me " I know I dont want a r/s with you, but I dont want anyone else to have you!"

The day before my planned trip to travel to the city I will be moving to, he decides I cannot use my truck as I had planned, tries to thwart my trip.

I rent a car and make my trip, and the next night, my H blows up my phone with repeated attempts to call me from noon till 4 in the morning. I had his # on 'silent' but I could tell by the pattern of calls that he was in and out of drunkenness. When he cant reach me, he calls our daughter and tells her he "just needs to know Im ok"

I get home from my trip and he is calm, nice to me, decides this is all for the best and just hopes we can be friends.

The next night, he gives me a written statement that he wants me to keep my truck, agrees to keep up the payments, in return wants me to pay the insurance, and not change my phone # for 1 year. Says he wants to do this because he "cares about me"

3 nights later (last night) comes into my room, climbs into bed with me, and tries repeatedly to get me to have sex with him.

Today he is locked in his room, getting drunk, masturbating to porn.

Did anyone say CrAzY?  
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canucky
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« Reply #42 on: October 02, 2011, 10:49:58 PM »

Mine took my car (without permission) while I was sleeping and took my shoes and clothes and got in a police car chase. As I walked down the road to a friends place and saw about 10 speeding police cars with their cherries on somehow I just knew it was her as she was totally dysregulated. To add a little whip cream to the situation she did it on my birthday. In the end she refused to stop for poilce after going down a street the wrong way... .smashed my car into a bunch of police crusiers totaling it refusing to get out of the car and was dragged out. I spent the next hour with the police once they found me in the back of a cruiser trying to figure out if I should throw her in jail for destroying my car. In the end I said I lent it to her so she wouldn't get charged with car theft since she had enough charges against her.

It is funny since my friends tell me stories and I could always one up them on "oh ya well let me tell you my story" Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

Luckily those days are far behind me since I was the one that had to pay the car off as she didn't have a valid license therefore no insurance coverage.

Canucky
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Clearmind
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« Reply #43 on: October 02, 2011, 10:53:08 PM »

Cyn, omg! Thank god you are out of there soon. How do you even explain that to anyone (well except us because strangely we get it) xo
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ve01603
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« Reply #44 on: October 03, 2011, 06:02:07 AM »

Sex is certainly a weapon - mine started to withdraw a lot.

That's what mine did.
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Willy
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« Reply #45 on: October 03, 2011, 06:44:19 AM »

Mine took my car (without permission) while I was sleeping and took my shoes and clothes and got in a police car chase. As I walked down the road to a friends place and saw about 10 speeding police cars with their cherries on somehow I just knew it was her as she was totally dysregulated. To add a little whip cream to the situation she did it on my birthday. In the end she refused to stop for poilce after going down a street the wrong way... .smashed my car into a bunch of police crusiers totaling it refusing to get out of the car and was dragged out. I spent the next hour with the police once they found me in the back of a cruiser trying to figure out if I should throw her in jail for destroying my car. In the end I said I lent it to her so she wouldn't get charged with car theft since she had enough charges against her.

Holy crap! They are masters at creating chaos!
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King1989
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« Reply #46 on: October 03, 2011, 06:49:38 AM »

Mine took my car (without permission) while I was sleeping and took my shoes and clothes and got in a police car chase. As I walked down the road to a friends place and saw about 10 speeding police cars with their cherries on somehow I just knew it was her as she was totally dysregulated. To add a little whip cream to the situation she did it on my birthday. In the end she refused to stop for poilce after going down a street the wrong way... .smashed my car into a bunch of police crusiers totaling it refusing to get out of the car and was dragged out. I spent the next hour with the police once they found me in the back of a cruiser trying to figure out if I should throw her in jail for destroying my car. In the end I said I lent it to her so she wouldn't get charged with car theft since she had enough charges against her.

It is funny since my friends tell me stories and I could always one up them on "oh ya well let me tell you my story" Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

Luckily those days are far behind me since I was the one that had to pay the car off as she didn't have a valid license therefore no insurance coverage.

Canucky

Wow!   Yeah I don't blame ya there, I'm the same way  when it comes to my ex XD, I got plenty of stories to tell about her as well as her mother *shakes head*  Are we sure these guys don't have demons inside them or something? Someone that knew the mother actually told me she saw a demon when the woman slept!



Sex is certainly a weapon - mine started to withdraw a lot.

That's what mine did.

Yep, I'm with you there. Just a tool to keep me there. I actually regret that she was the one that I gave myself to. Hate that to this day.
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jhan6120
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« Reply #47 on: October 03, 2011, 06:51:36 AM »

Mine took my car (without permission) while I was sleeping and took my shoes and clothes and got in a police car chase. As I walked down the road to a friends place and saw about 10 speeding police cars with their cherries on somehow I just knew it was her as she was totally dysregulated. To add a little whip cream to the situation she did it on my birthday. In the end she refused to stop for poilce after going down a street the wrong way... .smashed my car into a bunch of police crusiers totaling it refusing to get out of the car and was dragged out. I spent the next hour with the police once they found me in the back of a cruiser trying to figure out if I should throw her in jail for destroying my car. In the end I said I lent it to her so she wouldn't get charged with car theft since she had enough charges against her.

Holy crap! They are masters at creating chaos!

Anything to keep the focus on them.
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Willy
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« Reply #48 on: October 03, 2011, 07:10:58 AM »

Are we sure these guys don't have demons inside them or something?

The protector of the child can certainly be demon-like IMO.
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King1989
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« Reply #49 on: October 03, 2011, 07:43:12 AM »

Are we sure these guys don't have demons inside them or something?

The protector of the child can certainly be demon-like IMO.

I suppose so, I will admit whenever my ex's mother slept, it was creepy as hell. 
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Beach_Babe
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« Reply #50 on: October 10, 2011, 04:08:08 AM »

Mine took my car (without permission) while I was sleeping and took my shoes and clothes and got in a police car chase. As I walked down the road to a friends place and saw about 10 speeding police cars with their cherries on somehow I just knew it was her as she was totally dysregulated. To add a little whip cream to the situation she did it on my birthday. In the end she refused to stop for poilce after going down a street the wrong way... .smashed my car into a bunch of police crusiers totaling it refusing to get out of the car and was dragged out. I spent the next hour with the police once they found me in the back of a cruiser trying to figure out if I should throw her in jail for destroying my car. In the end I said I lent it to her so she wouldn't get charged with car theft since she had enough charges against her.

Luckily those days are far behind me since I was the one that had to pay the car off as she didn't have a valid license therefore no insurance coverage.

Wow, you knew her too? Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)
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« Reply #51 on: October 10, 2011, 05:33:54 AM »

no. i knew she was crazy. and i'd seen it before. i just kept waiting for my straw to snap, and it never would. that's obviously part of what kept me stuck.

your story reminds me of one of the craziest episodes. i spent the day with her at the hospital while her grandpa was dying. she was a HUGE btch. i even knew crazy well enough to know that's more or less what it was, and try my damndest to just get by. then her grandpa died. her and i were on our way home. i don't even quite remember what the argument was over. it was something small and silly. like i was on my way to my house or something, and she was wanting to stop at her's. but she just became a bigger and bigger btch.

i couldn't take or stand the pressure of trying to keep my cool under this situation. i'd been here for this person, i was the closest person she had, i was behaving like a saint, and she's attacking me. i lost it. i think i might have been crying, i was hysterical. not sure how i continued to drive. but i was so overwhelmed with anxiety and stress from her that i started pulling out my own hair. trying to somehow communicate to her that you just dont DO THIS to a person.

when we got back to her apartment complex, she insisted on getting out (and walking the rest of the way, a couple of blocks.) she did. i was going to just leave. i stopped. politely asked her/advised her to get in. she said something else btchy, and i had it, and just took off. i desperately wanted to break up with her at the time, but could never have dumped that on her when she lost her grandpa. that would have made me similar to her.

i can laugh at this now, but pulling my own hair out is the craziest i've ever been.
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butrflyblue
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« Reply #52 on: October 10, 2011, 11:49:51 AM »

Things with him always seemed a little off. His favorite thing to say to me when I uncovered a lie or sexual misdeed was "some people just don't think like you do."  Meaning you should question my craziness. Just continue to let me get away with everything I do all in the name of CRAZY. It was like living in the mad hatters tea party. Fewer and fewer things made sense as the days went on.

Yeah, the creeping sense of 'That dog just don't hunt.'


Yep I was raised in the south and he hated when I would say things like that. I think its because they lack the depth to understand anything other than the very predictable behavior they display. They are really pathetic.

I actually said that to my ex once and she had no idea what the saying meant. When I said it again, she said it annoyed her.

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