Anyway, the first thing i would like to ask if why did she respond that way to those text messages i sent her?
The responses she gave you are completely rational and mature. What is irrational is your asking and then not asking – and when she is confused, telling her that she knows what you want to ask. Then you play a disappearing act. Later when you emerge, you claim insight to your inappropriate behavior and seek validation. You then get it.
Am I right to assume that you were going to proposition her by text? And the reason for asking whether or not you could trust her was because you knew it was wrong and feared that repercussions may occur- especially if she told her husband or others? You wanted complete privacy to discuss this- but you assumed that she knew what you were asking.
I had not spoken to her for quite awhile and one day i text her to say "Was it you i saw in the mall this morning?
“Was it you I saw in the Mall this morning?” is an indirect command. Since you hadn’t spoken to her for “quite awhile,” a proper greeting would have been “How have you been?” Demanding her whereabouts makes you look suspiciously stalkerish, and sadly, it doesn’t allow for reciprocal conversation. Naturally, if that was her in the Mall, you would have walked over to say hello.
I am not use to people reacting the way she does.
No one wants to be asked of their whereabouts in this manner, especially if they weren’t at the Mall at all! Leading in with this demand will only place people on the defensive.
This woman obviously cares about you as a friend, but if she were Borderline, she would be seducing you- not the other way around. If you are drawn to her and feel intensely about her- then perhaps you should discuss these feelings (about her *and* her unavailability) with a counselor that you can trust. You may learn a bit about what you want in a relationship and then realize that you can find it with an available partner.
