The Grief Process - Depression

[GreenMango]

Hi Leaving Board,

Starting this thread to check and see how familiar members where with the Grief Process.  One part of the grief process is Depression.  

Depression

The is the "it's really over" stage.

After all of the denial and the anger and the bargaining have been done and we realize that things really are starting to end and we become depressed. We feel helpless and powerless and overwhelmed with sadness about the loss that we are experiencing.  We realize the situation isn't going to change. The death or break-up happened and there is nothing to bring the other person back.  Acknowledgment of the situation often brings depression.

Acknowledgment often starts the serious process of us trying to understand what happened.

Sometimes we know we are depressed, it's obvious and debilitating.   Other times we may not even know the level of sadness we are feeling is depression.  Depression can be a very serious matter and not something to take lightly.

Reaching out and doing things that help to combat depression are essential.  It can be anything from seeing a doctor for meds to exercise to watching a movie.  It's understandable to feel the loss and it can be a slow process in bouncing back.

Discussing this helps members here whether you are depressed or have come out the other end. 

How are you handling, or how have you handled, the depression?  What steps have you taken?  What are you struggling with?  Are things looking up?  What has helped you through it?

-GM

And, here's a shameless plug for the bpdfamily.com Grief Workshop.  You can answer the poll on what stage you are in and how long you've been there: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=138154.0]



Extreme depression can lead to feelings of hopelessness and suicidal thoughts.  These feelings are temporary and pass.  If you find yourself struggling with this please check out the following link for 24-hour support in your area Here.

[Confusedandhurt]

Hi GreenMango,

I have no shame in admitting to being challenged with clinical depression.  I've had it for about 10 years, but it became much more severe when my uBPDexgf decided to move on via a text message to me.  As she has gone from contact to requesting no-contact, it has been an emotional roller coaster for the past 8 months.  It's honestly been h&ll.

I'm working with a T and with a MD to manage the depression, and it's helping.  What's actually been the best has been not hearing from my ex for the past two weeks.  However, I recognize that this (detaching from a relationship with a pwBPD) is something way beyond my capability to deal with on my own.  From my perspective, that's the key.  There should be no shame in recognizing our own limitations and seeking professional help.  My T is really great and has helped me by listening, sharing observations, and providing me with insights into the disorder from her experience working with pwBPDs.

The other thing which has helped is working on building relationships with others.  I use an online networking site locally to meet others of similar interests.  My hope is to build new friendships to offset the emptiness I feel over losing the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

You're right - depression is a very serious condition.  I hope those who suffer from it get the support they need.

[afterdeath]

I call them my demons as I've fought depression many times.

I believe it stems from when I was chubby when I was younger and made fun of for it.

I still feel ugly to this day and this causes a lot of problems. If anything I'm under weight now, and girls tell me I'm attractive and cute but I usually am paranoid and think they are lieing.

Many of my girlfriends cheat on me and then leave, so there's my paranoia and jealously when they are getting too close with particular guys, it's almost a sixth sense now because I'm usually right.

I'm sad mostly because I feel inadequate. Like I'm not good enough for anything. When in fact I'm told the opposite; you were too good or you're better than that.

When I first met my beautiful ex I counted her out of my league immediately because how gorgeous she was. As time went on we became close friend and she nick named me grump ass.

Truth be told, I was the happiest I've ever been with her until I started getting the feeling of her cheating on me (which she was).

Why am I never good enough? I'm told I'm too nice, too good, yet no one ever sticks around.

I am unfulfilled, they were my purpose and now I have no purpose.

I workout constantly and become very frustrated at my lack of physical progress. I am what you'd call an ectomorph or a hard gainer. I went from fat to can't put any fat back on.

All I want is a freaking six pack or a loving loyal girlfriend, is this to much to ask? Lol

Gaming helps my depression as it's a distraction from the real world.

[GreenMango]

Many members here struggle with it.  Both you guys sound like you have things that bring comfort... .  gaming counts too.

Thanks for encouraging others.