Help me to remember

[amaris]

I need to remember why when all is good with us why I have no feeling towards my BPDH... .  I can be his friend, most days, but romance and trust are not there... .  it is because of days like today... .  he is unreasonable, explosive, ugly, mean, unapproachable, vindictive, and did I say unreasonable... .  I know when he is calmed down he will act as if all is well and will not discuss a thing with me so I have to stuff my resentment and find a way to let it all go once again because I know it will never be reconciled.  Too many years of never finding closure with his emotional abuse and learning how to disassociate with him and detach and make his issues his and not mine has left me with no feeling towards him but anger.  I must once again let this go, detach and find a way apart from him... .  he wants me to feel trapped today and I must remember I am never trapped... .  I have choices and I know how to self soothe myself.  But on the peaceful days when he wants my constant attention, for no obvious reason, I can't stand his needy ways and his clingy ways and his constant pouting cause I am not living up to his expectations for his neediness... .  I need to remind myself that this is why I can't respond in loving trust... .  I am no fool... .  

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[tryingtogetit]

You'll have to remember too that his every mood will pass quickly.

That when you believe in his good mood, you're opening yourself to believing his bad ones.

Remember too that if you don't dealwith the anger to him, it will turn into anger to you. And there are enough unreasonbly angry with you.

Try to forgive yourself for being good and believing in the good of others.

Try also to remember you won't got swept by what is his, weither positive or negative.

You're the rock, you're the strong one.