My husbands health ailments

[25yearsin]

i didn't know what was wrong with my husband but, after open heart valve surgery it became very apparent that he was feeling alot of emotional pain and was having a hard time controlling it. he was then diagnosed with BPD which explained alot of his history. (he acts like an asperger's person when he is stressed. he has always been a hypochondriac and accused me of being insensitive.) 3 years after the surgery it is very apparent that when he gets stressed he starts to obsess about his surgical incision as well as various aches and pains. even though he may have caused the original stress situation by over reacting to something he is very sure that the other person is the cause. i think that one of the main problems with BPD is that they get stuck on a mental track and don't have the tools to switch the track. i can usually distract my husband with dialogue and get him on another track and he feels much better. i am trying to get him to develop a pasttime that he can easily pick up and divert himself from going down his BPD track. i feel the hypochondria comes from the BPD person sticking on an obsessive track about a pain they are experiencing. whereas most of us can take some mylanta to get rid of the gas, the BPD will obsess about the pain until they are sure they are dying. if you can get them to stop obsessing, even if it's with a small drink of wine, it can deflate the situations and alleviate the ailment.

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[Rockylove]

My BPD/bf has had some fairly serious health issues, but I think he uses it to some extent.  He had a clogged carotid artery and had surgery for it.  I know that was serious.  I know he has heart problems.  I know he's a bit of a drama queen though.  When he's feeling needy or not wanting to keep up with whatever it is that I'm doing, he'll have some sort of "attack"~~it could be a weird pain or dizziness or something he just can't describe to me.  I've gotten used to it quickly and although I don't want to coddle him, I'll give him a bit of attention and it seems to pass.  I don't know just how much is real and how much is just for the attention... .  I'm convinced that today's episode was because he wanted to watch football!  LOL  I just hope that I know when he is really in cardiac distress so I can get him the help he needs.