Do I have BPD as well? Husband newly diagnosed

[sistergoldenhair]

I have spent the last few days scouring this site. As I read more and more about BPD, I find myself wondering if I have it as well. Or is this the fallout from dealing with husband? He was diagnosed last week.

I find his behavior to be directly rejecting. We are fairly newlyweds, married a little over a year. In our early relationship everything was great! He was very sexual and then it stopped 3 weeks into the marriage. He is only interested in hunting and trapping and his buddies who do the same.

I, too, have childhood abandonment issues, as my mother left walking when I was 10 and never was heard from again. This is my third marriage. I am a caretaker through and through and put everyone else ahead of myself and then feel awful when I don't get any empathy or understanding back. I have on and off depression and now very low self esteem.

The other criteria that I would say that I meat for BPD is when I have felt extremely rejected in my relationships, such as when my x had a long term affair with a 21 year old employee, I turn to other men to try and heal the hurt. This has happened three times... .  I see the pattern. I do not at this time have any of those desires, just listed as  historical fact.

I do feel that am much more compassionate toward my hwbps, what am I saying? He has next to no compassion for me whatsoever. I am so bogged down in this and I know this is a rambling post... .  but I am so confused!

This may be posted in the wrong place. I apologize in advance.

[Surnia]

Sistergoldenhair

I hear your confusion! You wrote, you have on and of depression and very low self esteem. I can imagine that this makes you ruminating about BPD.

This workshop could be interesting: Depression: Stop Being Tortured by Your Own Thoughts .

Hope this helps a little bit. 

[an0ught]

Hi sistergoldenhair,

having to cope with dysfunctional behavior it is difficult for all of us. And when things are difficult we tend sometime to resort to dysfunctional behavior as well. If this goes on for a long while one starts doubting oneself. As you are in your 3rd marriage some self questioning certainly is normal and healthy.

It helps to reach out to some friends or a professional therapist to check whether you lost your bearings or whether your head is dizzy as the world has been spinning too fast around you. From what you wrote there are some patterns in your life that sound self defeating. Fixing them could be worthwhile in any case.

[sistergoldenhair]

Hi sistergoldenhair,

having to cope with dysfunctional behavior it is difficult for all of us. And when things are difficult we tend sometime to resort to dysfunctional behavior as well. If this goes on for a long while one starts doubting oneself. As you are in your 3rd marriage some self questioning certainly is normal and healthy.

It helps to reach out to some friends or a professional therapist to check whether you lost your bearings or whether your head is dizzy as the world has been spinning too fast around you. From what you wrote there are some patterns in your life that sound self defeating. Fixing them could be worthwhile in any case.

Self-defeating, I may be the poster child! I am feeling better. Had a two week bout of pneumonia and finally got out of the house today.