BPDspell:
The only Therapy I am receiving is for the anxiety and panic attacks, the rest, I am
dealing with on my own. My original T discharged me after only having a few sessions,
saying that I do not have a mental illness and referred me to another for support for
anxiety. I had waited for over 5 months just for 3 sessions
I am in crisis mode. My physical health is sufferering.
Hey Dancing,
There's always a way to feeling better. Have you tried getting another therapist? From the sounds of it your first therapist was not a good fit for you. Seeing a therapist is not about being diagnosed mental illness; it's about speaking to someone neutral about your overwhelming feelings and having a safe place to unload all that is bottled up on the inside. I am very sorry that this has been your experience with your last therapist.
I went through two therapists before the third one worked like a charm. Many in the therapeutic community are not familiar with BPD and do not specialize in core trauma therapy. It helps to specify your search to BPD (w/NPD traits) therapists who are knowledgeable about trauma bonds, stealth abuse, and family of origin issues.
In the meantime I am pulling for you. I can feel your sadness through the screen but what are you doing to get yourself out of your funk? I know it's hard to pull yourself together in the midst of sadness but there are things you can do to be proactive in your healing. Your ex is not the answer to your healing; you are. He can't fix your sadness but you can and we here on this board can validate that you aren't alone.
Stay hydrated, journal, take walks, network, Join MeetUp dot com, post here, join a gym, start doing the things that were once fun for you... . think about the hobbies you've had in the past... . there is hope for a better tomorrow.
As for them getting away; they don't. These are our feelings of abandonment and rejection rearing it's ugly head and creating a story in our minds that is so far off from the truth. The truth is that they are a walking speed ball of pain and are world class Academy Award level actors at playing happy but they are far from it. They also incur a lot of karma for their actions; more than we'll ever know. Our job is to not wait around for karma to happen to them.
They are mentally ill; the chances of them getting better are slim to nil. You however can grow from this experience in time. You can and will grow stronger from this. There are better days ahead.
Spell
