How to stop the pain of detaching...

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

thank you all for posting this. i needed to read it today especially. This must be one of my BAD days. full of 'what if's"... anger ,rage, empathy, sorrow, fear... you name it. And I know I wil make it thru to the other side... I just wish it didn't hurt so much

It's hard, I know. There were times when I never thought I'd recover, it just hurt so much.

But... .  the good news is, it does get better. Hang in there. I promise in the not too distant future you will get over this and you will be ok again. You wont have the awful feeling in the pit of your stomach, and you'll be able to think of your ex without feeling everything you're feeling now. Give it time and be kind to yourself... .  if I can get through this then anyone can.  

[Seb]

thank you all for posting this. i needed to read it today especially. This must be one of my BAD days. full of 'what if's"... anger ,rage, empathy, sorrow, fear... you name it. And I know I wil make it thru to the other side... I just wish it didn't hurt so much

It's hard, I know. There were times when I never thought I'd recover, it just hurt so much.

But... .  the good news is, it does get better. Hang in there. I promise in the not too distant future you will get over this and you will be ok again. You wont have the awful feeling in the pit of your stomach, and you'll be able to think of your ex without feeling everything you're feeling now. Give it time and be kind to yourself... .  if I can get through this then anyone can.  

[Suzn]

Uh no, zero shortcuts. In my past I've run from the pain. I've actually moved around a lot to escape. Fight or flight? Flight, every time. I really had no idea I had never grieved some of my past. Finding these boards, working with my therapist, accepting my codependency, learning to face my fears, grieving my past and learning to stay with pain, all the way through to the other side. Whew! This was all new to me. It's been a long road but well worth the fight. This is definitely no overnight change. There were many times I thought I'm through with the learning only to have a new realization of another lesson being presented. I've found in every difficult situation there's a lesson. Now, most of the time, my first thought in one of those situations is "think, think, think, what's the lesson?" It always shows itself when I spend time to look for it.