how can u protect ur self?

[soma]

HOW does your relationship with BPD could affect in psychological way

i mean... is it possible to make u victim of depression... or any other psychological illness?

how can u protect your self?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[coworkerfriend]

I am struggling with protecting myself.  I feel like I completely lost confidence in myself and who I am during the past 3 years. I have endured more stress and personal depression than I ever did in my adult life.

As I look back, there were so many red flags and warning signs.  I don't know why I thought I could handle the rages, mood swings and depression/anxiety.  I used to think I was strong enough but I feel broken down.

I am trying to focus on my mental and physical health.  I am trying to let his words go.  I am trying to be patient and let him work through the bad times.

[CodependentHusband]

Yes! We MUST protect ourselves! When we finally get to a breaking point, depression is a reality. For me, I went to a therapist for a few months, read up on BPD and codependence, and posted here a LOT! It can drive a person to have suicidal thoughts due to the stress and depression. In cases like that, we must seek help immeditely through a suicide hotline.

The good news is that there is a lot that can be done to restore order and calm to the relationship. It will never be perfect as long as the person with BPD does not get treatment, but we have a lot more control than we realize when things get really bad. Have you both read the lesson on the right-hand side of this page? That should be your first stop! After reading all of them, posting to ask questions and tell others here about specific situations is a great step. You will be absolutely amazed at how many situations are the same for many of us. Also, knowing how to respond in very specific situations can be addressed. It is going to be hard work. I will not lie about that, but, you know, when things are really bad, isn't it already hard with no relief in sight?

There is a better way, and you don't have to leave to improve things dramatically. There are still hard days for me. In fact yesterday and today have been a little rough... .  but guess what! It's not because my wife has been screaming and acting out of control like she used to. It's a different kind of feeling, without all of the chaos. The vast majority of my days now are really good days. I want that for everyone, but not everyone is willing or capable of doing the work.

Can you tell us some details about something specific that has happened recently to bring you here?

[waverider]

As you learn more about the techniques to deal with this, those periods of stress, hopelessness and depression, will be fewer between and you will be able to shake them off more readily. But as Codependant says without your SO being treatment, they probably wont be completely avoidable.