New to the board

[Adeline]

Hey there

I am a child of a mother with BPD (undiagnosed) well all my therapists have thought so. I am looking into it a lot more now as I am worried at times that I exhibit similar behaviours to my mother and it scares the pants off me. I do always reflect back to change the behaviours. It is mainly when I am in fear or angry.

I have been told that I don't have BPD but recently I have been thinking of perhaps having a child (I am 34) and the reason why I have not gone there is because I am so scared that I will damage the child like I was. I am not sure if I could handle it if I acted remotely in any way that would be like that.

So yes  alot to think about and yes I tick pretty much all the boxes for a child of someone with BPD.

[Surnia]

 

Adeline

So sorry to hear about your worries, due to the possible illness of your mother! It can affect our childhood and often it affects also our sense of self in the present. Good to hear that you have support from a therapist.

Great you found this place, many members here are in similar situations and sharing about it is so important!

Perhaps you may read through this workshop: Children of BPD Parents: Reclaiming Our Lost Selves

How is the relationship to you mother right now?

Do you have siblings?

Please keep in touch, Adeline.

Surnia

[waverider]

Growing up in a BPD environment means you can copy and react in similar ways, that is just like anyone learns behavior from those around. eg pointless aggressive arguments may be the norm.

BUT BPD is a mind wired wrong, being around pwBPD mans you may mimic some of the behavior, but your mind does not work the same way at its core level. If you are concerned continue to attend therapy with this as the main concern, and it is often quite easy to learn to chop out that behavior realign your issues.

That said a BPD family background can increase the chances of situational trauma, and genetics combining to start of the BPD roller coaster. Again if your are concerned bring this up in therapy, most BPDs are in denial, you are not so there is a good chance of getting yourself on track.

We all have a few of the BPD traits in us, just not enough to cause issues. pwBPD just have these behaviors heightened to the point they control their lives

[vivekananda]

Hi Adeline,

I would like to join the welcome party!

Did you know you're not alone? Yep, my mum is (I believe) BPD. For years and years I have worked through my issues, complicated with a BPD sibling etc. Have you heard of the saying, 'if you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas'? Having a BPD parent is like that. I am aware of my    and know how to counter them.

I would like to encourage you to stay with us, to use the facility here to help you come to grips with the BPD in your life, to help you in your own personal growth. This will then give you the confidence to begin your own family. If you understand BPD and the techniques we use here to help us with those who have BPD in our lives, then I feel confident that you'll be right.

Do you have any siblings Adeline?

Vivek