Well my last post about me or my situation was about 2 weeks ago which was the last time I spoke with my exBPDgf. I have had no contact with her which is weird. We broke up in November towards the end of it and we had limited contact more on my end reaching out to her and vague responses from her.
Two weeks ago we spoke and she raged and already has a new savior and guy she is with chris who is a downgrade from me so I find some enjoyment out of that

. I didn't know how to process everything that has happened. Logically I got it and understood but emotionally I did not. I started therapy with 2 different counselors one who was not a right fit and the other who I had my first appointment with today who is an awesome fit specializing in personslity disorders, relationship trauma, self identity and other things that went hand in hand with my whirlwind relationship this past year.
After our break up I started working out again and especially these past two weeks I started training in jiu jitsu and martial arts again which is my one true passion. No matter what I'm doing when I'm on the mats I escape and am zoned in on the moment. It helps a lot. I have been social again connecting with friends again and meeting new people and just living for me again. I am optimistic of the future and on the right path to recovery. I still have ups and downs emotionally but with time and the path I'm on that will subside I'm sure. If it gets really bad I read these boards for the realitu check I need of all of our stories, pain, hurt and a too common themes of our relationships. Thank you all you'll be seeing me a lot more for you all like you have been there for me and to keep you all updated