is it standard for courts to award 50-50 custody>?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Im  a stay home mom who has done 90 percent of kid work. H wants a divorce and hired most expensive attorney in town in order to get 50 50 physical custody.

he wants a collaborative divorce, and if not hired the most shark like litagator. to this point

(kids are 11 and 14) he is 90 percent of time gone working or sleeping. Now he

wants a divorce and 50 percent parenting. i dont get it. i am thinking i have proof of

my involvement and his lack of. i am thinking court might be a better option, as i dont want to share custody like that, since, in the past i have done 90 percent of it, and he is never home for

driving school things, homework, getting up in morning. help i feel very threatened.

[sometimesnow]

Im  a stay home mom who has done 90 percent of kid work. H wants a divorce and hired most expensive attorney in town in order to get 50 50 physical custody.

he wants a collaborative divorce, and if not hired the most shark like litagator. to this point

(kids are 11 and 14) he is 90 percent of time gone working or sleeping. Now he

wants a divorce and 50 percent parenting. i dont get it. i am thinking i have proof of

my involvement and his lack of. i am thinking court might be a better option, as i dont want to share custody like that, since, in the past i have done 90 percent of it, and he is never home for

driving school things, homework, getting up in morning. help i feel very threatened.

[Matt]

I'm not a lawyer, and nobody here can give you legal advice, but we can share what it was like for us.

In my state, I was told that it's more common for women to get primary custody.  If I went for it I might get 50/50 - which is what happened.  My wife was diagnosed with BPD, and was really struggling;  if it was the other way around - if the father had those issues - I'm sure the mother would have gotten primary custody.  But in my state it's very rare for the man to get more than 50/50.

The law is supposed to treat both parties equally, and find what's best for the kids.  One big factor is who has been caring for them most of the time.  But caring for them when they're small is not the same as when they're older like your kids;  they don't need the same kind of care now.

I would suggest you do a few things to learn more.

First, talk with as many family law attorneys as you can.  You don't have to give any of them a retainer til you're sure.  Some offer a free initial consultation, or charge for 30 minutes of their time.  Ask questions about how the process works where you live, and what's likely to be the result.  If you think your husband may have BPD or some other psychological disorder, ask about psych evals like the MMPI-2, which can enable diagnosis of those problems.  (But it would probably be best to have both parents tested - otherwise it will be a big fight and he will say it's unfair.)

Also, find what your state's criteria are for custody.  Many states base their criteria on Minnesota's - 9 items you can go through and see which parent is likely to look best by each standard.  For example, one is probably something like "Encourages a good relationship between the child and the other parent."  Those criteria may help you see your situation the way the court will see it.

Would 50/50 work for your kids?

What situation do you think would be best for them?

[charred]

Don't know, not a lawyer, but I am divorced. I had someone telling me to try to get custody of our daughter... but I ended up with the typical for my state arrangement, exwife has her most the time I see her ever other weekend and a few weeks for vacation and certain holidays. I was freaking out that I would not be around my daughter anymore due to divorce, and can see why someone would want 50/50... but your H clearly has no idea what being the primary care giver would be like for 1/2 of the time... it is much harder than I ever imagined it would be. My daughter was 9 when we started the divorce and 10 when it was official, she just turned 12. Once the bad feelings died down between the ex and I we both were reasonable and if I am able to see her more my ex is okay with it... we go by how we each feel, daughter included... she has had times she was missing me and wanted to spend more time at my place. My ex is not a pwBPD ... my exgf is... and she is a tyrant to her ex... he tried to get full custody and its been a battle ever since.

Personally... I don't know that I would get to invested in fighting it... if your H is one to hold grudges and be super difficult maybe you should fight it, but my exwife did more by just going along with what was needed than anything. Your H would have a time actually doing 50/50 I suspect... and you would be relieved to have him carry half the load if he did manage to do it. Would make sure your daughters know you care and will be there for them and not worry too much... .  because... in most states... the kids have a say in who they spend time with after a certain age... and in my state it is 14... add in the time the divorce takes to finalize and you are probably not looking at a real long time to split the custody 50/50... depending on your kids wishes.

Hope that helps a bit. The horrible thing in divorce was not knowing... would my daughter be okay, would I see her, would she be okay in school? Those kinds of things. She adapted quick... was hurt by the divorce, but adjusted to the changes in a fraction of the time my ex or I did. She was in a private school before the divorce... during/after it, I couldn't afford it so she switched to public schools... and I was beside myself worrying about how things would go. Its been 2 yrs and everyone is so much better off now, there is no tension between ex and I, daughter loves public school... she is seen as smart... and advanced, and can keep up while being sociable... and the school has tons of kids, so she is happy. It worked out fine. My exBPDgf divorced, and still tries to battle with her ex... 10 yrs later... but its just little pissy stuff, like an insulant child... the courts made them agree on visitation schedules and a few other issues and since then it has been pretty steady ... and she is very BPD.

Hope that helps a bit. Maybe you could suggest a month trial of 50/50... it took far less than that for me to realize being the primary parent was hard work. Your soon to be ex may not be real reasonable, but if he tries it he may on this point be more reasonable. I wouldn't have believed that every other weekend and a few evening here and there would ever do for seeing my daughter... .  but I traveled in my work, and was gone all the time, so really only saw her that way before... the difference, when it is just her and me, I have to pay attention to her... entertain her, parent her... where before she was just around in the house and not much work. Hope that gives you a little hope/ideas.

[Matt]

Maybe you could suggest a month trial of 50/50... it took far less than that for me to realize being the primary parent was hard work. Your soon to be ex may not be real reasonable, but if he tries it he may on this point be more reasonable.

Really good idea!  Maybe 50/50, or maybe some other arrangement you think would work OK.  Let your husband experience what he thinks he wants, and see how it goes.

If he steps up and does a good job, then you may feel better about some arrangement, even if you still don't think 50/50 is best.

If he struggles, you can document that, and use it to show that he is not a good fit for lots of parenting time.  Or he may decide he doesn't want it.

You can stay available so if things go bad you're able to help your kids and make sure they are OK.

[charred]

One thing on the 50/50 custody... are you separated now? I was wondering about school districts. I live about 11 miles from my ex, but in a totally different school system, and the schools wouldn't allow my daughter to go to school in my district (where her existing friends were) because of the decree saying my ex was the primary guardian... so, that meant that she only goes to her school... which means for me to have her during school days, I had to drive over by her moms to drop her off for the bus or pick her up, or else take her to/from school each day... to a school quite a ways away. If they are really talking 50/50, and you are not in same place school district wise... check in to that.

[Matt]

One thing on the 50/50 custody... are you separated now? I was wondering about school districts. I live about 11 miles from my ex, but in a totally different school system, and the schools wouldn't allow my daughter to go to school in my district (where her existing friends were) because of the decree saying my ex was the primary guardian... so, that meant that she only goes to her school... which means for me to have her during school days, I had to drive over by her moms to drop her off for the bus or pick her up, or else take her to/from school each day... to a school quite a ways away. If they are really talking 50/50, and you are not in same place school district wise... check in to that.

Another good point.

You can probably find data online - check out each school's web site - they may have posted standard test scores and other information so you can see which school district has better academic performance.

You can also find crime statistics online, and see which neighborhood is safer.

All this can feed into your ideas about what arrangement would be best.

[sometimesnow]

well when i asked him what he planned to do about the times he oversleeps till 1

and then works 10 hours, not even being present, he said "thats why i want to get

this ~ over with, I am tired of hearing about it."

he has hired the most expensive lawyer in tow. took a 12K loan out of his 401

to do so. I just think its unrealistic as this has never been the case and would be odd to be

the case. i am really scared and dont have the funds to hire like attorney. his has

such a reputation. My husband has a good job, but he is an engineer. most people who

use this attorney  are doctors, attorneys or millionaires. She has a reputation of being difficult and good and winning cases. We are still in same house and it really stinks.

[sometimesnow]

Yes I am talking a man who is either at work or sleeping until 1:00 am and then working his hourse to make up the time. He has diagnosed major depression. Also he is sick constantly and used up all his sick days last year within a few months. he took my daughters to a hotel and

during those days my 14 year old got up at 7 am and had to sit in hotel room while he continued to sleep until noon. Now he has hired this shark. Another attorney I called said his bill will be around 100K when he is done. The younest i am most worried is 11 and she hates dislikes and will not be around my H. He thinks this will "force her" to have a relationship with him.

If i were a working spouse or some other way unavailable i guess i could understand. but thats not been the case. He also wants to try a collaborative divorce. Usually in this case if you cant come to agreement you both have to hire new attorneys. Apparently she is a mean litigator, and he said he worked it out where she wouldnt step down if the collaboration part didnt work.

i feel he is trying to buy his way into my girls lives. i am so angry... .  after all these years

and devoting myself to him and family and going thru his depression and sleeping and raising the girls till almost grown single handedly and now he wants 50-50.

NOT

[Matt]

Talk to some lawyers.

Where I live, you can tell the court the situation - you don't have money for a lawyer but he is hiring an expensive one - and the court will order him to pay your attorney costs.   The idea is that the money is "community property" - even if he has control over it, you have equal right to it - and it's important for both parties to have access to similar quality representation.  Any family law attorney can tell you how it works where you live.  I think it's almost certain that you can get a good lawyer and pay her out of the same pile of money as his lawyer.

But... .  I think it's important to process your anger and move past it before making big decisions.  This probably feels like it's about Sometimesnow-vs.-stbX, but it's really about figuring out what will work best for the kids.

By the way, my ex also has issues with depression, and so do I.  I got help - counseling mostly, plus meds for a short time.  She hasn't accepted help, even after the court ordered her to get psychotherapy (she has BPD and other stuff too).  Sometimes when the kids - 8 and 10 when we separated, now 14 and 16 - are with her, they hardly see her - she's in bed.  It's not ideal, but at these ages, they do OK - they can fix their dinner, do their homework, etc.

I'm not suggesting that things would work well if it was 50/50, only that you may need to take a step back and make sure you're thinking about how things can work out for the kids, and not getting too mad to think straight.

[charred]

If you are still in same house and just starting legal process... you have a long way to go for a divorce, in my state the average time from start to finish was around 2 yrs for a contested divorce. Your 11 yr old would be more like 13 and your 14 yr old more like 16... the original concern you have over custody is likely to fade away a good deal by then.

No one wins in a divorce, its pretty hard on all involved. The more that you guys can work out between you (of the things that go in to the decree) the less lawyer time is needed. A "good" attorney is usually good at stirring the pot, they are paid based on how much time they can bill and it is in their best interest to have every divorce be contentious, long and drawn out. Anyone going in to a divorce can have hurt feelings and a chip on their shoulder wanting to stick it to their spouse... .  but actually trying to do so... .  sticks it to themselves and worse of all to your kids. The book "No BS guide to divorce" is excellent, it changed my view when I was divorcing, and helped me realize that no one wins, so lets minimize the damage.

A pwBPD person isn't likely to show much empathy, but they still have their self interest, and should be able to see what their actions will do to your kids and how it will put them in the middle. Your H has reason to be worried about not spending time with his kids... and if he is a good parent you presumably don't want to keep them from him, so its not a giant issue like it sounded... but the finances of attorneys... that is. If you don't have money for one... you haven't read up on divorce yet... in most states you can get the other person to pay, tie up any accounts and so forth... being froze out of money is a no-no in divorces... comes up all the time. The book I recommended is from a fathers point of view... how to come out as good as possible, but it would be a very good one to read... .  ideas are same, and if he is out to make your life hell, he may be reading it... .  

No one wins... .  you have to agree for it to be final (you both have to sign papers)... and its arguing till then, unless its cooperating... so see what you can do to make it cooperative. My divorce was over in 4 mos... we changed from fighting to each writing down what we needed and had to have and thought would be nice... then back and forth between us till we finally agreed on everything... then the lawyer (hers... mine was scary to her and more per hour) drafted the agreement and we signed and it took the short route for non-contested... 4 mos later it was official. We did have to attend a class that was mostly on how to play fair and not hurt our kids... and it was needed... she started out being bad ... .  and then came around.

Now, 2 yrs later... .  we are all better off. No tension between ex and I, daughter is doing great, I am in T for my issues (started off with dBPDgf... .  now I am working on me.) And fear of unknown was hard thing to deal with... .  less time the better, and instead of having it unknown you can find out, see what is required to be in the decree and look at what you need/want and start working on it. The attorneys do not help typically... .  they do not console you, or encourage you to do anything that makes it better... .  would be nice if they did, but they are paid more for it dragging on. If you feel out of control, fearful of unknown... .  get some control by being the adult and keeping sane/nice, and seeing what you can work out... the more you do without the attorney, the less you spend, the more you both can have to recover on... .  as it hits both of you. Two residences costs money... .  good luck.

[tog]

In my state, in the Northeast, 50/50 is the standard arrangement if it's desired. My SO's uN/BPDstbxw has nearly bankrupted us trying to get sole custody but despite 10s of thousands of dollars spent on both sides, lots of lies and false allegations, they have kept it 50/50, as it has been since they separated almost 4 years ago. My SO is an active parent who was a SAHD for many years so the parenting bit is not hard for him (though we both enjoy the 50% of time off!).  

Chances are good that even if he gets joint custody with 50/50 residency, you will end up having them more of the time due to his schedule.  He probably is afraid, or angry, or both...

[Matt]

Chances are good that even if he gets joint custody with 50/50 residency, you will end up having them more of the time due to his schedule.  He probably is afraid, or angry, or both...

This may be true, but there is another aspect to consider... .  

In my state, it is presumed that both parties will support themselves after the divorce.  If one is a stay-at-home parent during the marriage, that is taken into account;  for example, there may be enough alimony, for a few years, so the formerly stay-at-home parent can get education or job training.  If you're halfway through your degree, and you ask for a bunch of alimony for two years, so you can finish your degree, that's likely to be awarded, because it's a bridge to a good income for you.

But don't assume that because you didn't work during the marriage, you won't have to work in the future, especially since the kids are old enough to take care of themselves to some extent.

You should be considering how you see your career going forward - do you have the education you need, or should your strategy be to ask for a few years of high support and then support yourself with a good income?

[charred]

Child support is affected by the 50/50 vs some other thing as well. If its fifty fifty you typically dont get child support as 1/2 the time they are yours and half his... .  if he had sole custody... you would probably be on the line for child support or if you had sole custody he would be on the line for it. So it does have that effect. If you end up having the kids more... .  financially you would want it to be covered by the court such that you are getting whatever child support makes sense.

Supporting yourself is a good point as well, my exwife quit her job 2 weeks after our daughter was born. She made the same money I did... .  and didn't even bother to consult me about it, discuss it or anything, she unilaterally decided she would rather be with her kid than work. I would have divorced her rather than have a kid if I had known she was going to do that... .  it pissed me off so much I still resent it, some 12 yrs later. Seemed very disrespectful. Then she told me she would go back to work when our daughter was in school... .  6 yrs later... still not working... and so it went. When stressed she would spend more and more money... it wasn't good.

You can be reasonable and ask for money for training, for getting on your feet. Money for extra curricular activities for your kids too, and/or assistance with those. Lot of things like that to think about. I would look at the decree stuff for your state, it will take you a while to figure out what you realistically need, that won't destroy him or you, and will be good for your kids.

I have no doubt he is afraid (of losing his kids... not seeing them... so he thinks 50/50 will help)... angry at you for things that may well have had nothing to do with you... and even spiteful. As time goes on most people cool down a bit... its a herculean effort to keep up a giant mad mood.

[Matt]

In my state, if it's 50/50, the higher-earning parent usually has to pay child support.  It's based on a formula that you can find out from an attorney, or maybe find your state's guidelines online.

[mamachelle]

All above is excellent advice. So sorry you are dealing with this.

Get a good attorney who understands abusive husbands or who is recommended-- preferably both.

My guess this is a way to save him money and make his attorney more money.

Please keep in mind when the dust settles you will still be primary caregiver. A piece of paper will not change this. It may be for a few weeks or months he tries but in my experience and my friends it never lasts long. But you do have reason to take action and be smart.

You will need child support and make sure it goes through the state system no matter what he says. Having the state handle support is so much better than waiting for his checks that may or may not come regularly.

Mine stopped coming and just today 7 years later I have his seized tax money in hand from the mailman. Have gotten it for the past 3 years now.

You should get alimony too and whatever else others have mentioned above.

Our paperwork said joint custody with me as residential parent and still does but exBPDh has not seen his daughters in 4 years.

Stay strong and talk to a lawyer soon.

[scraps66]

In my state, PA, there is child support, and then there is childcare included in the support order.  Child support is strictly determiend by the differential in income between parties and is influenced by the physical custody breakdown.  It's a formula  The change is significant in terms of how the formula works out when going below 40% time.  I didn't realize there are some nice states that, if you've got 50/50 physical custody, there is no child support regardless of the income differential.  My case, I've got 50/50, but my ex is still getting $900 in child support and then I pay the % of our combined income for the childcare. 

[tog]

Because of the alienation, my SO had to buy 50/50 with his son and he is paying child support when she makes more; it's the only way she would agree to settle for 50/50 after SS said he wanted to live with her. Now he's saying he wants 50/50 and we are stuck with the CS, I think. We are hoping it can change.

What if you agreed to joint legal custody with 50/50 but you will watch the children during the times he can't? Then he can say he has 50/50 but the breakdown will be different in terms of actual hours with them? Would that make him feel like it was "equal"? Not knowing him, it's hard for us to speculate. I know in my SO's stbxw's case, she simply has to have "more" or she will fight to the end of time. Even with them having exactly 50/50 she and her lawyer describe it as "almost equal with mother having a little bit more time". 

[charred]

I was told that the state guidelines apply when you can't reach your own agreement, and that you can agree to anything you wish, the court will review it and change or throw it out if they believe it is very unfair or not in the children's interest. So they had a formula for spousal based on 44% of the difference in incomes, and the child support in general was based on income... but if both parties agree to some other amounts they could take it or request it be redone. We agreed on everything but how long to have spousal support... that doesn't seem to be based on any formula here anyway. The state formula gave me a child support of about $1100 a month, which was pretty high, we agreed to $600 and me paying for health insurance for my daughter, and 2/3 of whatever health cost above the insurance come up. (Like her ER visit was about 6,000, I paid 4,000, ex paid 2000... and started listening to me about going to a minor ER center instead of an ER unless it is life threatening.)

The other thing with custody is taxes... you have to figure out who will get the deduction for the child... .  with two maybe each person could take one each year... I just have one kid so we agreed I got it the first few years (knowing I made more and needed the deduction) and then she has it after that, since she has most the custody.

[scraps66]

tog - that situation is pure gender biased extortion!  In my very humble... .  jaded opinion.  I just can't beleive that some BP's get their way, and the courts do not counter.  He wanted something, got it, but needs to be punished.  I've lived that. 

[tog]

Yep. He got bad legal advice as well. The bottom line was, he was being told if he went to trial, he would lose and get EOW, but if he paid $X/month, she would agree to 50/50.  Then two months later, she turned around and filed for sole custody, reopening the whole thing all over again.

We go back in April and he is hoping it will be re-visited then. He's willing to pay for tuition and medical expenses pro-rated by income, but giving her money for CS is a joke. The only saving grace is that at least most of it goes to SS13's school tuition so we at least know he's getting something other than the thrift store clothes and alienation bribes she gets for him.

She's more of an NP than a BP and very, very calculating and clever.

[livednlearned]

sometimesnow,

You've been on these boards for a while (glad you're back, I noticed you were gone for a while, and hope you're doing ok). Last time, if I remember correctly, you had already spoken to several lawyers, so you must have a sense by now of how this works. You've posted here a lot and received a lot of feedback. This last question you've posed makes me wonder if you are here more to process your fears than anything else. I understand -- I went through something similar when I was fearful about having a parenting coordinator assigned to my case. I heard good and bad things about PCs, but the only thing I listened to were the bad stories.

What ended up happening is that I agreed to the PC, and she sees through N/BPDx like no other professional has.  She is likely my most formidable ally in getting sole custody. I dragged things out for about 9 months because I was so consumed by anxiety, and that cost me a lot of money and sleepless nights.

My ex is a trial attorney and I thought he was going to blow me to smithereens, but he is mentally ill and deeply disordered. That, and he doesn't really have what it takes to care for S11.

In the end, the only thing you can do is be assertive. Stand up for what you believe is best for the kids, and take whatever steps you need in order to do that. Ignore the cage rattling and pay attention to your own anxiety. Learn tools to help you deal with your own fears and anxieties, and get ready for things to change by preparing as best you can. My T gave me articles about mindfulness-based stress reduction and the effect is has on reducing anxiety, especially for people with anxiety adjustment disorder. www.tinyurl.com/findMBSR might help you locate a MBSR program in your area.

It gets better when you're out of the house and your head starts to clear. I barely recognize the person I was 2, 5, and 10 years ago. But I've had to work really hard on the anxiety stuff. If you can get a grip on it, you'll even the playing field no matter how fancy or sharklike the other attorney is.

[ForeverDad]

I happen to know that at least one other parent in your state, a dad, has custody ("legal custodian", has equal parenting time, earns more than the mother and pays almost as much child support as he did when he was alternate weekend non-custodial parent in the temp order.  Please don't make me identify him, but probably you can figure out who he is.

It's possible that he thinks he will avoid child support by seeking 50%.  Sorry, but courts know about that common goal.  Unless he can wrap the court around his little finder, it won't be that easy for him.

Did you contact that attorney I referred you to?  Did you go for a consultation?

What to know what I think?  I think he's doing psychological warfare.  He knows your weak spots and is using your lack of self confidence against you.  However, your situation is not as hopeless as you feel.  His bluff and bluster feels overwhelming now, but court will ignore most of it.  You need to do the same.  Step outside your emotional distress.  See it as we do, looking in objectively from the outside.  No, it won't be fun, nor will it be easy, nor will it be quick, but it's certainly not hopeless!

In the end, the only thing you can do is be assertive. Stand up for what you believe is best for the kids, and take whatever steps you need in order to do that. Ignore the cage rattling and pay attention to your own anxiety. Learn tools to help you deal with your own fears and anxieties, and get ready for things to change by preparing as best you can. My T gave me articles about mindfulness-based stress reduction and the effect is has on reducing anxiety, especially for people with anxiety adjustment disorder. www.tinyurl.com/findMBSR might help you locate a MBSR program in your area.

It gets better when you're out of the house and your head starts to clear. I barely recognize the person I was 2, 5, and 10 years ago. But I've had to work really hard on the anxiety stuff. If you can get a grip on it, you'll even the playing field no matter how fancy or sharklike the other attorney is.

Listen to her.  Believe her.  She's been through the ringer, she's been there, done that, like all of us here but more so.

[Alvino]

i feel he is trying to buy his way into my girls lives. i am so angry... .  after all these years

and devoting myself to him and family and going thru his depression and sleeping and raising the girls till almost grown single handedly and now he wants 50-50.

NOT

Sometimesnow, it is understandable that you are frustrated by the situation, and living in the same house while this power fight is going on is certainly not helping. But unless I am mistaken, they are his kids as well. Now - he might have neglected them, he might not be in the position to do 50/50, etc., and this is something you should talk about with an attorney.

But it might be good to take a breath and take a step back to consider

a) what's a realistic good outcome for your kids? 

b) what's a realistic good outcome for you? E.g. if you had 90% of the custody, would you even be able to have a job to gain your own income or would you be dependent on your husband?

I get the impression that the question of who gets what custody is becoming the next level of conflict between your husband and yourself, and you have stated that you "feel threatened" by him wanting 50/50. Perhaps you could explore that more.

Now, I am not a lawyer, but I would expect that if you want to argue that you should not have 50/50 custody, you need to provide a solid reason to the court - and I would suspect that "he is trying to buy his way into MY girls' lives" and "I feel threatened by 50/50 custody" are not the most convincing arguments a court has ever heard.

Personally - if he insists on 50/50 and you think it's unrealistic that he can hold up his end of the bargain, why not get your lawyer to argue such? Perhaps there is a way to agree on a probational period and if he sees he can't manage, then you have a better basis for arguing your case. 

[HardDaysNight]

In my state 50/50 is the standard starting point. Also working and sleeping are not considered a lack of engagement with child rearing.  By that standard most people with an hour commute, 8 hours at work and 8 hours sleep are only 30% engaged. Providing for a family by working a job is not counted against you in my state nor is sleeping.

[charred]

Learn tools to help you deal with your own fears and anxieties, and get ready for things to change by preparing as best you can. My T gave me articles about mindfulness-based stress reduction and the effect is has on reducing anxiety, especially for people with anxiety adjustment disorder. www.tinyurl.com/findMBSR might help you locate a MBSR program in your area.

It gets better when you're out of the house and your head starts to clear. I barely recognize the person I was 2, 5, and 10 years ago. But I've had to work really hard on the anxiety stuff. If you can get a grip on it, you'll even the playing field no matter how fancy or sharklike the other attorney is.

Excellent advice, my T had me get Eckart Tolle's "A New Earth"... and for $14 it helped knock out 95% of my stress... something that trying various meds never approached, without the side effects. It was so simple I still find it hard to believe it works... .  well worth checking out.

[ForeverDad]

Sometimesnow... .  It's been several months since we've heard from you.  How are you doing?  We'd like to know you and your children are doing ok... .