Thank you all so much for the suggestions,
I'll look into them.
To answer the questions: No, she's not on Medicaid as far as I know, she would probably be in the in-between category (too much income for Medicaid, and too little for regular therapy).
To make things worse, one of her self-harming/make herself feel better behaviors is spending, so there's usually no money to go around.
She also has a real problem concentrating, and as far as I know, hasn't ever read any books other than children's stories.
She's addicted to the internet, so she can spend hours on it, but often jumping from site to site, not reading any longer paragraphs.
Not sure if she'll ever be ready to do serious work, but thought person-to-person, or the workshops would probably be best... .
Of course, she has not been officially diagnosed yet, so that would pose another problem that we are thinking about, how to steer her toward a good professional, who could then gently point her in the right direction if and when she's ready. That's a big one for us. Right now, we are in nc, apart from some ugly e-mails she sends our way every few months, and it seems like she was able to enlist her husband, with whom we did not have the opportunity to talk about our discovery of BPD in this last year... .
So that leads me to another question: how did you guys go about getting your loved ones into the right kind of therapy or to the right kind of therapist without telling them you thought they had BPD?
