Yes, controlling for the presence other PDs (like NPD), BPDs aren't making up the things they say. When my ex told me how terribly she felt I'd treated her and how controlling she thinks/thought I was, this was not a fabrication. Her hurt was real, and intense.
It's a thought *disorder*.
Perhaps at some future point they look back and realize to some extent that the way they felt wasn't really based on reality. Or perhaps not. Either way, they've already conducted their smear campaign so they need to stand by their original story.
I assume in your case it was also the other way around. She treated you bad and controlled you and blamed you vice versa right? And she was really upset about it. Although in reality (our world) it's the other way around.
I remain to say, what an interesting disorder.
Very much so. For the first month or so after the break-up, I was still in the fog - accepting her version of events and believing I was a sad sack of ___. I begged to no avail for her forgiveness and a second chance.
Then I got my bearings back a bit, and saw that I had given more of myself, my time, my money, my patience, my understanding - my LIFE - to her than I'd ever given to anyone before. And when she jumped ship, there was hardly anything left. That's probably when I entered the anger phase.
Now I just kind of shake my head. I've been able to realize that I am a hell of a catch, and that this truly is her loss. That she cannot see this is no longer my problem - shouldn't have been my problem in the first place.
