Noticed a difference in his reaction lately good or no?

[laelle]

The other day we were talking and he started on me with the criticizing.  This time it was about my kids.

He says he doesnt mean it in a bad way but my kids are always sick and that it must be something in the house making them sick.

He doesnt have any children and doesnt really understand that children in school get sick more often than adults.  My kids have been sick about 3 times since summer.  Anyway, he went on for a while about it and I just validated that I heard what he was saying.  He then asked me ":)ont you think so?"  I said No... .  He stopped, said nothing else and changed the subject.

First time this has happened.  Normally it ends with me Jading, him going off, me crying and going to bed.

Sound like a positive step to you?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[patientandclear]

Completely!  On both of your parts!

[laelle]

Thank you patient.

We are both trying really hard.

[Grey Kitty]

First time this has happened.  Normally it ends with me Jading, him going off, me crying and going to bed.

Sound like a positive step to you?

Woo Hoo!

That sure does sound positive to me! Especially when you describe what had become "normal!"

Anyway, he went on for a while about it and I just validated that I heard what he was saying.

Keep up the good work!

[laelle]

Thank you Grey Kitty,

Its really nice to get a small taste of reward for all the work that is being put into something. 

[Rockylove]

 

[laelle]

  Rockylove, thank you

[coworkerfriend]

That is great - the work you are putting into your relationship is paying off. 

Thanks for the inspiration.  Small changes can make a difference.

[laelle]

Thank you coworkerfriend,

The very small changes really made me see how I was blaming him for my own issues.  I am learning to process my own emotional stuff.  That and whine about it here.   If they mirror you, then it cant hurt to be happy, can it?

[coworkerfriend]

   I was doing the same thing - blaming him for how I was feeling about things and my own insecuritites. 

My motto of the day is "it is what it is" but you have the power to turn it into not so bad.

[laelle]

Great motto!

[123Phoebe]

Hi laelle,

Yes, this was great!  Simple and to the point on both your parts (being truthful), agreeing to disagree essentially, with no further drama or upset

And I totally understand how the little things can mean a lot. 

Learning how and when to use those two little letters can be very helpful--  N  O

Sounds like a very positive step to me