Help to use with young children

[oglobaith]

Please is there anyone on the forum who can point me to books or other resources to use with a 6yr old and a 4yr old grandchild whose single mother exhibits the traits of BPD.?  We have contact with the children twice a week and in addition to validating them and allowing them to off load I would like to be able to help them understand their mother and learn how to keep themselves safe without criticizing her or affecting my relationship with her. They also have the break up of their parent's marriage to work through as well as other traumas.  Any advice welcome.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[momontherun]

Here are some books which may help:

An Umbrella for Alex by Rachel Rashkin-Shoot, MS, Psy.D.

Please Don’t Cry, Mom by DenBoer

Tell Me a Story, Paint Me the Sun by Chaplan

Sad Days, Glad Days by DeWitt Hamilton

No Time for Me by Barrett

This site may be too advanced for the grand kids however it looks to have great advice with specific messages: www.copmi.net.au/kids-teens-young-adults/kids/what-you-need-to-know.html

[lbjnltx]

Here is a list of several books on the Book Review Board that are for young children.

"Is A Worry Worrying You?"

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=185902.0

"Sometimes My Mommy Gets Angry"

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=186318.0

"The Invisible String"

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=186322.0

"Something Is Wrong At My House"

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=186735.0

"An Umbrellas for Alex"

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=56239.0

There are descriptions on all and reviews for most... .  done by members here who you will recognize... .  Grandparents just like you.

 

God bless

lbj

[qcarolr]

oglobaith

I have found reading kids books with my gd7 opens to door to some great conversations - sometimes a bit after processing the story or the 2nd or 3rd time she requests to read it. She is a little older than yours. She is able to say no to reading when she is either not ready, or has read enough.

Also suggest just doing lots of fun things with them - lighten up - model good choices for them. Just be a good parent with them - give them a break from the drama at home. Trips to park, picnics, childrens museums or similar places. Maybe do one 'special' each week. Will your dh be participating? Maybe you could each spend some individual 'special time' with each boy on a regular basis. This also works great as a reward for good behaviors - special time.

Hope this ideas help.

qcr  

[oglobaith]

Thanks for these ideas.  I have ordered An Umbrella for Alex, Sometimes my Mommy get Angry, The Invisible String and Is a Worry Worrying You.  This is for the granddaughter who lived with us for over 2yrs and was suddenly removed from our care in December and denied any contact with us for 7 weeks, and her 4yr old brother. I also ordered the book A Terrible Thing Happened as they have witnessed a lot of domestic violence due to mother's emotional dysregulation.

Yes, my husband and I will both be spending time with them every Saturday (and I will have 3 hrs on a Wed).  We plan on taking them out to special places and using the time to build them up and affirm them in who they are. Just feel gutted that gd was so enjoying a safe steady happy life and suddenly that's been taken from her  :'(