That is a lot to handle and a very tough situation. Even though it may seem there is no connection, your dd feels there is - I made that mistake of underestimating that connection with dd15's biodad when he passed. She has admitted (after 5 yrs) it wasn't so much they had a relationship (there was no contact for 4 yrs.) as there will never be a chance for one being robbed of the possibility... . it took me awhile to understand that, get over those painful emotions and of course, I am the one she lashes out on when she starts thinking about it.
As for visiting, I think if there is any possible way you can make that happen then I would do it. I understand the lack of funds all too well however, where there is a will there is a way... . perhaps you can use skype as many hospitals have free wi fi these days, hold a fundraiser selling something like candy bars to neighbors/family/friends to help raise the money, gather air miles from family/friends, take a bus or train etc. Ask your dd to help you brainstorm ideas as this may put her focus into something more constructive working towards a goal. Admit to the fact you may not be able to raise the funds in time as this is very unexpected yet you are willing to try seeing how important this is to her. The important thing is to show her you support her no matter what obstacles arise.
I also understand the need to want to avoid more drama however, the drama is going to happen either way... . so are the painful questions, bargaining, accusations, defending etc. The intensity can be reduced with validating statements like "what your going through is natural", "I can see how painful this must be for you", "This hurts", "I would feel the same way", "It sounds you are really feelinghit_", "I can see your really upset", etc. Help her release her feelings by keeping the conversation going: "what bothers you the most", "How strong are you feelinghit_on a scale of 1-10?", "what would help you feel better?", "So you really feelhit? Is that close?", "So what bothers you i~hit_?" etc. Be prepared for her to verbally attack you with: "You don't understand", "you don't care", "you wish she was already gone" etc. counter the accusations with:"I am trying to understand", "how have I shown I don't care?", "when we both calm down we can talk more about this" etc.
Make this a teaching moment by educating dd about the stages of loss, the different phases in emotions to expect, share your beliefs, learn how you can support her etc. This is a wonderful research paper written specifically for this:
www2.uwstout.edu/content/lib/thesis/2003/2003schoepkeb.pdfMost importantly take care of yourself