My ex is on a dating site and instead of being sad/jealous I am actually feeling waves of pure sympathy and sadness? Part of it is knowing my ex has never ventured into online dating/can barely navigate things like twitter and facebook (we're in our mid-20s, remember) and their profile is not one that will attract a lot of attention/they are probably not contacting people in the right way. I imagine there is a lot of rejection happening for them right now.
I just cannot imagine living a life where you are simultaneously so angry and sad and just in need of
validation/constant comfort. I've spent the last week like that and it was hard! I cannot imagine a LIFE centered around those feelings.
Compassion is fine and necessary but I recognize this level of sympathy is probably tying back into my codependency. I am the one who officially called things off, I'm the one who initiated NC and so I know I'm feeling some guilt even though I also know my ex is not saying good things about me and will eventually find someone to move on with.
My ex has mixed BPD stuff happening... mixture of quiet and raging. I got some of the rage/false accusations after I initiated NC and they know that being silenced is my number one pet peeve so they will probably uphold NC thinking it will wear on me.
BUT - should they break NC - has anyone dealt with too much sympathy? How do you avoid the recycle process if you are feeling sympathy and they come back? That is my only issue! I can see everything else so clearly but envisioning that level of pain does make me sad. As it would witha anyone.
