Detaching from the wounds...

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I just now realized what ":)etaching from the Wounds of a failed BPD Relationship" really is, and why this is such an important and meaningful title to that board.

I am just now more deeply discovering the positive and healthy 'attachments' I still have with her.  I am learning what it means to love "the whole person" while not accepting hurtful behaviors.

I am just now more deeply discovering myself, uncovering the wounds and ugliness within me so those deep, core wounds too may heal, and what it means to love "the whole person" while not accepting hurtful behaviors.

That title, the one on the leaving board, has such meaning to me today.  Only now, now that I am no longer an inhabitant of that board.  What a pleasant irony.  I will never leave my wife; I may get divorced, she may divorce me, she may leave me in totality, but I love all of her and I know that today I am her friend and she is mine.  

Deep, peaceful, from my heart and soul thanks to all y'all that operate this blessed site.  And thank you ALL (SO's, children, parents, FM's, BPD's) my brothers and sisters who have supported me directly and indirectly with your stories, sharing your pains and successes and setbacks, your advice to me and others, those I have posted to and those I have only read, for taking the risk and opening your selves here.

God Bless each of you.

Michael

[morningagain]

I just now realized what ":)etaching from the Wounds of a failed BPD Relationship" really is, and why this is such an important and meaningful title to that board.

I am just now more deeply discovering the positive and healthy 'attachments' I still have with her.  I am learning what it means to love "the whole person" while not accepting hurtful behaviors.

I am just now more deeply discovering myself, uncovering the wounds and ugliness within me so those deep, core wounds too may heal, and what it means to love "the whole person" while not accepting hurtful behaviors.

That title, the one on the leaving board, has such meaning to me today.  Only now, now that I am no longer an inhabitant of that board.  What a pleasant irony.  I will never leave my wife; I may get divorced, she may divorce me, she may leave me in totality, but I love all of her and I know that today I am her friend and she is mine.  

Deep, peaceful, from my heart and soul thanks to all y'all that operate this blessed site.  And thank you ALL (SO's, children, parents, FM's, BPD's) my brothers and sisters who have supported me directly and indirectly with your stories, sharing your pains and successes and setbacks, your advice to me and others, those I have posted to and those I have only read, for taking the risk and opening your selves here.

God Bless each of you.

Michael

[ConfusedMichael]

I'm glad you are finding peace in this understanding Michael.  I think it's an important step and I wish you all the best going forward.

[myself]

Glad to read this, you show so much progress and a lot of positivity in your recent posts. There is a point where we accept ALL of it, as best we can, the good and the bad and everything in between. You obviously have a very big heart and it's good to see it's swelling again, full of love. Sharing this part of your story is inspiring, thank you. Peace and best wishes.