Blocking males

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

My exBPDgf blocks every possible male communication, other then with me. It's almost absurd. Last week she refused help from her neighbour with carrying her errants to her appartment. She has almost no male friends on facebook (or they are gay).

She says that she does that for me, that she's afraid to hurt me... .  

Has anyone seen that from your BPD-partners ?

[Hutsepotmetworst]

My exBPDgf blocks every possible male communication, other then with me. It's almost absurd. Last week she refused help from her neighbour with carrying her errants to her appartment. She has almost no male friends on facebook (or they are gay).

She says that she does that for me, that she's afraid to hurt me... .  

Has anyone seen that from your BPD-partners ?

[tuum est61]

My exBPDgf blocks every possible male communication, other then with me. It's almost absurd. Last week she refused help from her neighbour with carrying her errants to her appartment. She has almost no male friends on facebook (or they are gay).

She says that she does that for me, that she's afraid to hurt me... .  

Has anyone seen that from your BPD-partners ?

Welcome to bpdfamily.com!



I think it's more common for a pwBPD to be very friendly/outgoing/promiscuous with others that are potentially romantic partners and/or be very controlling of similar contact by their partners.  

Make sure you read the links here. It sounds like a bit over overcompensating "pull" behavior - trying to hold on to you by demonstrating her "complete commitment".

Perhaps she's had problems before with the opposite and again, is trying to prove to you - and to herself - that she's not "that way"? How much of her past history do you know?

[hithere]

Maybe she keeps them away so she is not tempted?

Maybe it is a way to say that she finds it unacceptable that you have female friends?

Maybe she was sexually abused and is afraid of men?

Mine was very friendly and flirty with men but she would freak if I talked to women or had women friends.

Really it is hard to figure out many of the things people with BPD do because 1. they don't know most of the time and 2. they live in an alternate reality

[Hutsepotmetworst]

Maybe it is a way to say that she finds it unacceptable that you have female friends?

Mine was very friendly and flirty with men but she would freak if I talked to women or had women friends.

I suppose it was this option... .  She freaked out every time I mentioned or contacted a woman friend.

She dreamed that I betrayed her with a girl from my sportsclub... .  a girl she had never seen, or did I ever spoke of ! And so she believed my sportsclub was eventually a sexclub... .  for heaven's sake !

Offcourse this led to the end of the relationship. She didn't feel safe anymore wit me she said... .  

[benny2]

Mine is very jealous natured and believes things in his mind that don't exsist. I have been very faithful to him but he still thinks I'm always up to something. As for him, he works very hard at hiding his infidelity from me, and tries to put on the innocent act, but I know better. It could be she is either hiding it, or just does'nt trust herself. If it is the fact that she does'nt trust herself, be thankful she is taking measures to prevent it. Most would not.

[Gaslit]

It's important to note that often words and actions don't equal each other.

My friend with BPD will tell you all day long how she doesn't do this, or that, all in an effort to redefine my reality and maybe hers. And guess what? She does do this, or that, or both -- and I am sure that I don't even know the half of it!

So there is that, and there is also the possibly that this is simply an attempt to control you by making you feel guilty if you talk to others girls, since your GF would never ever talk to other boys. Never.

Sure.

[benny2]

yep so true! I sometimes think they convince themselves of their lies.

[tuum est61]

So what do "we" do when "they" gaslight, dissociate, deceive, and lie?

Or, working our way back to the original question, how do we think Hut should respond when his gf initiates her "male blocking?"

[benny2]

Get out I guess. Thats the most logical answer I can come up with.