BPD and astrology (aries)

[ThrownAway]

Ok so I never paid much attention to astrology until recently.  As I started to look into traits of an aries woman (my exBPD), I noticed a LOT of similarities. 

The hot/cold, push/pull, need for constant attention, impulsive, reckless (driving,eating,sex), self-absorbed and selfish, starting fights when things were going too well, huge flirt, falls in and out of love very quickly, impish, childish, narcissistic, greedy, frivolous, insensitive, cold, harsh, ruthless, known to cheat, quickly ending relationships, easily bored, quick temper and anger, extreme independence, needing space, drama queens, unable to see other viewpoints and unstable. 

Also some good traits like generous (but only on their terms), charming, smart, funny, resilient, witty, highly creative and talented, musically gifted, life of the party, child-like charm, adventurous and fun.

The sun sign is important, but my ex also had mars and venus in aries making her a more extreme aries personality.  Also Mars is the planet of war and god how she loved to fight and start ~!  Use the link below to see your ex's full chart and if you like post it.  I'd love to see if there is any correlation here as I'm extremely wary of getting involved with another aries again.  Also the big music diva's are all aries - Mariah Carey, Celene Dion, Lady Gaga, Aretha Franklin and Diana Ross.

www.astro.cafeastrology.com/cgi-bin/astro/natal

[almost789]

Angelina jolie also aries, i think. Aries men are bossy and selfish but i love them. Lol... .  

[Clearmind]

ThrownAway, maybe generalizing a bit here!

This may help with the facts.

The DSM-5, due out in 2013, is anticipated to bring a number of changes to the definition of the personality disorders.  As I understand it, the working group is trying to do away with the complex multiaxial diagnostic approach and to make the personality disorders more discrete (less overlap) - basically the Axes I, II, III will be consolidated to one -- the 10 personality disorders will be reduced to 6 -- and PD will be "scored" on a rating system based on severity.

The basic DSM 5 description is actually simpler than the DSM-IV - it will look something like this (note: no 5/9 criteria)

1 Impairments  The must be impairments in self functioning AND impairments in interpersonal functioning (more on this later)

2 Negative Affectivity, characterized by:

• Emotional lability: Unstable emotional experiences and frequent mood changes; emotions that are easily aroused, intense, and/or out of proportion to events and circumstances.

• Anxiousness: Intense feelings of nervousness, tenseness, or panic, often in reaction to interpersonal stresses; worry about the negative effects of past unpleasant experiences and future negative possibilities; feeling fearful, apprehensive, or threatened by uncertainty; fears of falling apart or losing control.

• Separation insecurity: Fears of rejection by – and/or separation from – significant others, associated with fears of excessive dependency and complete loss of autonomy.

• Depressivity: Frequent feelings of being down, miserable, and/or hopeless; difficulty recovering from such moods; pessimism about the future; pervasive shame; feeling of inferior self-worth; thoughts of suicide and suicidal behavior.

3 Disinhibition, characterized by:

• Impulsivity: Acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli; acting on a momentary basis without a plan or consideration of outcomes; difficulty establishing or following plans; a sense of urgency and self-harming behavior under emotional distress.

• Risk taking: Engagement in dangerous, risky, and potentially self-damaging activities, unnecessarily and without regard to consequences; lack of concern for one’s limitations and denial of the reality of personal danger.

4 Hostility:  Persistent or frequent angry feelings; anger or irritability in response to minor slights and insults.

[Themis]

My pwBPD is an Aries!

My mother that I suspect has BPD traits (not a full-on BPD) is an Aries.

I thought it was crazy too, because I don't fit my own sign, but damn he's just like the description.

Part of the problem too is just like the description of the sign he is really SEXY and I find sex cathartic and really helpful for my depression.

Not having that (he stops talking to me or withdraws sex like the sterotype of an angry woman) is a real blow. I don't even have a big drive at the moment. to me it was the emotional connection, the passion, holding him close and that happy feeling all that produces.

Ok... .  sorry for the sex tangent but people may laugh but I really do miss that. He was the best. It was the most compatible I ever had in my whole life.

Aries. What do we do with them?    *shakes fist into air* How can someone bring up so many emotions in me?

Look at my posts... .  I'm going mad.

[GreenMango]

Doesn't have a thing to do with astrology, sun signs, or moon signs.

BPD develops from a genetic predisposition to emotional hypersensitivity and an environment that ranges from perceived rejection/invalidation to outright abuse.



-Themis on a side note, you mentioned your current pwBPD.  Being in a relationship like this can be rigorous.  To stabilize the relationship it requires quite a bit of work from the the non-BPD partner.  Focusing on the lessons on the Staying board will help you gain some traction.  Floating around on the leaving board and venting will only make things worse... .  not that we don't love visitors.  Make good decisions for your relationship right now.  Read those Staying Lessons.

[Themis]

Hey Green mango!  I'm just playing, and I have depression-- I am silly as it helps as I spend too much time over-thinking. It's nice just to say--sunsign! And laugh about it.

I'm no fool. I know you can't define people by sign/their birth time. I have a fair idea why he has BPD.

His mother is an over-achieving psychologist who always expects more from him. She had no boundaries and when his parents divorced she heaped responsibility onto him from a very young age.

From what I've seen of her she is a very confusing person. On one hand she's a psychologist, ambitious, successful in career, and on the other she's pretty moody herself.

He also was attacked by someone outside of the family. He had a lot of anger and shame about that, and never told his family. His relationship with his mother collapsed as he couldn't stand her, her expectations and lack of support.

Granted she didn't know what happened to her son, but I didn't like the woman. I can see how she'd be difficult.

He always felt alone and his parents worked a lot. He had to deal with the attack by himself, and was isolated. He grew up angry and I don't think he got that love and healing he needed. His life just snowballed from there. I was the first person to really be emotionally supportive, just as he was that person for me in many ways as well.

It obviously nothing to do with being an Aries!  But he is the sterotype of what they say an Aries is.

As for staying well I am staying but he is always leaving! I've gone through the lessons and it's a swamp.

All I really want to know is how to undo being painted black, mean nothing to him,  get things back again. Then I'll go from there.