How to move on

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

After 19 years together - how do I get through the day when the person I want in my life doesn't want me in hers. 

[cal644]

After 19 years together - how do I get through the day when the person I want in my life doesn't want me in hers. 

[Rose Tiger]

Number one suggestion is therapy with someone skilled in trauma recovery.  That helps with step one, Acknowledgment - we being by acknowledging and working with our feelings.  Therapy lays out some groundwork with this one.

Grieving goes by quicker if you involve the senses, wrap up in a soft blanket, light a scented candle, play soothing music, sight, sound, touch.  Eat comforting healthy food, taste.  I would soak in a tub with epsom salts.  That sort of thing, taking gentle good care of yourself.

This workshop might be helpful for you... .  

TOOLS: Exiting a BPD relationship [romantic partners] 

[seeking balance]

After 19 years together - how do I get through the day when the person I want in my life doesn't want me in hers. 

Hi Cal,

Denial is such a hard place in the grief process.  I remember for several month after my ex moved out, I thought maybe this wasn't over.  I would say to others it was over, but in my heart - I would have gone back in a minute.  Only after she removed all of our joint funds did I accept I would need to file for a divorce.

19 years is a very long time - it is going to take you some time for this to sink in... .  that is normal Cal.

What are you doing for YOU right now?  Exercise, friends, therapy?