Protecting the children in his life

[FellOff]

I haven't posted here in a while, but I'm hoping I can stick around and try to deal with things involving my dBPDf.

Basically, I don't have contact with my father. He left my family for another woman several years ago and that helped me to cut off contact with him, and I have been so much better since then. One thing that worries me is that she has young children.

He's been abusive since I can remember, and only recently sent my mother an email saying all sorts of terrible things (that he hated me, that I was an irresponsible, ungrateful woman, etc). He compared me and my sisters to his wife's children and said we could never compare to them. For once I didn't get upset about what he said about me... .  I just got worried.

From what I've heard (through his emails to my mother or through my extended family) he treats her children the same way that he treated me and my sisters. I don't know what to do. I think the only reason I feel like I turned out ok was because of my mother, she is a saint. I worry that these children are being abused by my dBPDf and their dBPDm and have no one to turn to.

I really wish I could send them a message or something to say, 'I know what you're going through, and I'm here if you need to talk' but I know that he would find out about it and be vicious. What would you do?

[isshebpd]

Who is the "extended family" who are concerned? Are they closer to the situation? Can they give the kids some time away from their parents?

[ScarletOlive]

FellOff, I'm sorry for the hurt that you went through and that you are witnessing with your extended family. Is there any way you could visit the kids? Maybe take them to lunch or to the park? If that isn't safe then please ignore the above.

How old are the kids? I understand the fear, I really do.   It's very sweet that you want to help out the children involved, and anything you might be able to do for those kids will help them, I'm sure.