Possible future encounters with my ex

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Here my story wrt ex(?) hubi

My exBPD spoke of her hubi as "the ex" - apart 5 years. He was an active sex and drug addict then and remained as such. That's why she left him plus his abuse.

So ... .  we had talks of marriage. Then in the summer I started working on my sex addiction (porn - she was OK with it as long as I didn;t want her to watch it with me. But I wasn't OK with it anymore in a committed relationship). Well she stopped making love to me and started to devalue me.

About this time she told me she was still married to him. She hadn't filed the divorce papers.

To make a long story short, I went out of town for a weekend, she did a midnight move ... .  back to him. Betrayed and abandonded!

[nolisan]

Here my story wrt ex(?) hubi

My exBPD spoke of her hubi as "the ex" - apart 5 years. He was an active sex and drug addict then and remained as such. That's why she left him plus his abuse.

So ... .  we had talks of marriage. Then in the summer I started working on my sex addiction (porn - she was OK with it as long as I didn;t want her to watch it with me. But I wasn't OK with it anymore in a committed relationship). Well she stopped making love to me and started to devalue me.

About this time she told me she was still married to him. She hadn't filed the divorce papers.

To make a long story short, I went out of town for a weekend, she did a midnight move ... .  back to him. Betrayed and abandonded!

[nolisan]

Actually I feel sorry for him ... .  but he knows exactly what he's getting himself back into. The poor man never healed up from the 5 years he spent with her - still addicted to her. And she had pulled a brutal abandonment with him too.

I wouldn't be surprised to hear from her down the road when she abandons him again and wants to recycle with me. Ain't gonna happen.

Once she told me that she saw marriage as potentially involving more than two people - ie him and me and her - toggling between the two of us? Eeeeeks!