opinions?

[Depression = 72% of members]

hi, looking for feedback -- BPDm requested I tell her all the ways she verbally and emotionally abused my Endad-- her reason to learn of such information is to grow closer to the warm and caring person she wants to become--- ---she said she will just listen --- this request came about after a few weeks of LC -- I think she might do better asking Endad instead... .  thoughts? thank you... .  

[me and the]

hi, looking for feedback -- BPDm requested I tell her all the ways she verbally and emotionally abused my Endad-- her reason to learn of such information is to grow closer to the warm and caring person she wants to become--- ---she said she will just listen --- this request came about after a few weeks of LC -- I think she might do better asking Endad instead... .  thoughts? thank you... .  

[Suzn]

Hello me and the 

Good questions.    Glad you decided to post them.

I think she might do better asking Endad instead... .  thoughts? thank you... .  

You know yourself and your mom better than we do, I agree with you here. What do you think will her reaction be if you point these out? Will it be seen as you taking sides? Were you, or your ENdad, and your mother LC? Is it better for you to steer clear of becoming involved? Just food for thought.

It's good while growing your emotional maturity to ask friends or family how they view you and your actions. It takes a fairly mature person to be able to hear the answers if they aren't what they expect to hear. It's hard to say without knowing your mother what her reaction to you will be. 

[ScarletOlive]

Hi me and the,

I'm sorry you witnessed abuse growing up.   You're asking good questions, and I like what suzn wrote. It's important to ask yourself if you trust telling her, and what you think the outcome would be.

There's a lot of information here, and many members who have gone through similar. I'm glad you found us! Keep posting. I know you will find lots of support and peace here.

[me and the]

thank you for your thoughts... .  I do talk with endad at least one time each week on the phone~ talking with uBPDmom is Not very regular --

My fear is it will all backfire in my face and ulimatley hurt my Endad more.

He lives with her anxiety, rages, and her abandonment of him  (she will go off into a gambling binge at the casinos)  ~ he had a stroke a year ago and doesnt need the additional stress

[InaMinorRole]

You may wish to consider agreeing to this if it's in the presence of a family counselor.

[GeekyGirl]

You may wish to consider agreeing to this if it's in the presence of a family counselor.

I agree. If she's really looking for this feedback for her personal growth, that's great. It might be easier for all involved if there's a mediator or counselor (one that all of you choose) present.

[me and the]

I live 2000 miles away from her~ she suggested I email back my response if I was too uncomfortable~ (as opposed to telling her on the phone) ~ still on the fence about this request~ thank you for the suggestions~ If I lived near her, a counselor/mediator would be very helpful