Does it get worse over time?

[sunshine40]

Okay, I am not sure if this is because I have stepped back and watched my udBPDh as an observer for the last three years, or if I am just noticing it, But he seems to have less control of himself in public than he used to.

A few years back he could go to work or church and be pretty charismatic and do well and joke around with others and be his charming self, but about nine years ago he went down this spiral of depression, and his abiltiy to socially function slowly deteriorated. The abuse also escalated at home for a period of about six years. Although now he now is way less abusive at home than he was, he cannot control himself as well in public. He will get noticably more insecure/ aggitated if I am not standing next to him or holding his hand. He'll answer questions for me when another man asks ME a question.(last night it was about a particular class I was taking at school). I know this stems from insecurities of feeling "left out", but he does it more now. He'll also repeat himself WAY more when he is focused on a perceived problem when talking to someone else. And when the other person has NO idea how to validate some of his ridiculous comments, I get a dysregulated husband yelling at me in the car all the way home, specifically about how everyone thinks he is a "kook".

Anyone have the experience of their pwBPD getting worse?

Thanks,

Sun

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[laelle]

Does he happen to be bipolar as well?

[sunshine40]

No, he does not have excessive highs; just  a general low and very lows.

[laelle]

I dont believe you have to have high highs.  You can be unipolar and another but I forgot the name.

This disorder can have a slow cycle... .  Days, weeks or even years in between them.  I know here is also a paranoia and social apprehension tied to bipolar, but then of course there are other disorders as well that have this.

[sunshine40]

 Before that period of depression he was functioning pretty well, only getting dysregulated once every other month or so. I was blissfully happy and thought that was normal.

I think the depression was triggered by a brain injury ( based on things I've read). At the start of it, I gave birth and hemmoraged and died on the hospital bed in front of him. But as you can see, I am fine. ;-D

I have also read it takes about seven years for that kind of brain injury to heal, which pretty much coincides with the timeline of his behavior improving. But as he has healed from that, he has lost more functionality in other areas. It now effects him at work more than before. He also has general anxiety disorder (fearful of public places, can't eat food prepared by others, like at a potluck... restaraunts are okay if he beleives they are sanitary enugh. HAS to have his own plate, bowl fork, knife that noone esle can touch... etc.) He is also bulimic. He does not vomit on purpose. He used to be anorexic and now he just can't help it. That has gotten progressivly wore as well, eventhough most of the time he isn't throwing anything up except "mucus", but everytime he eats, he has to "work at" not throwing up.

Anyways, I hope those details help.

[Grey Kitty]

Sounds like it could be other mental health issues in addition to BPD. IANAS* so I won't guess on what it might be, however I do know of one friend who was bipolar, but his "high" state was "nearly normal or a little more depressed than that" and his "low" state was waaaaaaay down.

*= I am not a shrink