Intimacy question

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Eveeryone talks about BPDs and sex, my x was very agressive at first, yet the sex always seemed to be missing passion. almost mechanical.  It was almost like i was used for masturbation. She never ever  kiss or be vocal during intercourse. then she had me and the sex life was almost a chore for her. any others have similar experience

[screwedovr]

Eveeryone talks about BPDs and sex, my x was very agressive at first, yet the sex always seemed to be missing passion. almost mechanical.  It was almost like i was used for masturbation. She never ever  kiss or be vocal during intercourse. then she had me and the sex life was almost a chore for her. any others have similar experience

[Scott44]

yeah she even told me at one point that sex was a chore for her.

maybe it was because she had vaginismis and found intercourse to be painful

she still managed to call me up after we had separated and tell me that she thought i had a sexual disorder because i wouldn't typically ejaculate during intercourse.

the reason i didn't ejaculate was because i was constantly aware of her pain and the need to be very gentle

[wb1233]

It all depends on your partner. My exwife uBPD and I had great passonate sex before marriage. Then it became almost mechanical. Eventually complained of pain followed by withholding.

My exgf uBPD and I had that most amazing sex. Always passionate, kissing, the works. For 3 years straight. I'm 44 and she 33. Having had her come into my life after the pain I went through with sex with my exwife really built me up again. It was the best sex of my life. Combine that with my love for her and you cam imagine how hurtful it is to lose someone like that.

[broken but not beaten]

I think it depends on the partner,although my uBPDxg always wanted to please me until our first split,looking back a big red flag was her wanting to be intimate on our first meeting,in my experience the sex was fantastic until she had be hooked then it became an action of going through the motions,she was 43 me 31!