The last two guys I dated are uBPD. First one (who I met in 2008 and broke up with two years later) was the rager/clingy type and the second (who I met in 2011 and have been on/off again for the past 6 months, but we are now off again) is the waif/aloof type.
The rager one went to great lengths to get me back, stalked, and harassed me. He is obsessed with me because I'm one of the few girls he's been with that didn't want to marry him (how dare I, right?). He is still obsessed two years later and, sadly for me, does not have a replacement. He was kinda serious with a LDR last year, but the girl flaked on him when it came time for them to meet (smart girl

) so now he's back to obsessing over me. I am trying my hardest to ignore his emails (it's the only way he has to communicate with me), but I slip sometimes because I'm too nice. I also see him at events every now and then and I say hi (again, probably being too nice) and it gives him hope all over again. I hate it. I wish every day that he would find a damn replacement and move the heck on. grrr
The second one is a whole different story

. I am almost 100% certain that he has never been faithful to me. We had a LDR for 1.5 years and then he moved to my town and it was local for half a year. During that time, he has always been talking to other girls (some of them even confronted me). He has also slept with other girls (but he doesn't know that I know that). He knows that I won't sleep with someone unless I'm married, so it's kind of hard for us to have an exclusive relationship because of that (although I'm sure even if I was sleeping with him he would not be capable of being faithful). So we both gave up trying--he stopped trying to convince me to sleep with him and I stopped trying to get him to be in a committed r'ship with me.
I sent him a long, intense email beginning of January (as a result of feeling like he was keeping me as a side piece for the last few months while he talked to and slept with other girls) and it freaked him out. He pushed me away and instead of running back to him like I usually do, I just let things be (which shocked him). He began to scramble for other girls (which is odd because he already was talking to other girls!). But I'm thinking maybe he needs a certain amount to feel secure (6 or 8 or something like that maybe

). So it's like my spot got empty and he was trying to find a replacement for my spot. He doesn't know I know this, but I can tell from his FB behavior when he is doing this and with whom (even though I'm not even on his FB... . I'm slick like that haha). Anyway, he is playing games with my replacement, but also with the other girls in the rotation. Some are local and some are long distance. It's really kinda sick and twisted. We are just friends now and just communicate via email, which is fine with me. I still love him, but I would rather be his friend or not be in his life at all than to be on his "rotation of chicks". It started to get pretty demoralizing. I have too much self-respect for that. I still love him because aside from the insane amount of cheating, he is honestly the sweetest person I've ever known (the waifs are mind-boggling like that), but I can't expect anything even remotely close to an exclusive relationship with him without him seeking some kind of therapy.
Anyway, my point is that it's crazy how I've dealt with two extremes--the one who is fixated on me forever and the one who was never even faithful (to the point where I can't even pinpoint start times to replacements since he is always rotating so many girls!

). I wish I had something kinda close to what you guys had... . something that kinda looks like a normal, exclusive relationship. Mine have not. grr
