NC... so important... and so telling

[Cimbaruns]

I posted recently that I have been NC for just over a week!

So needed to do this to save myself... .  

I had been LC prior and had been failing at setting good boundaries... .  

It now has been 9 days since I've responded to any form of communication from her...

Just 2 days ago she apparently reached her breaking point... .  emailed that she'd been crying... .  walked out of work and needed me... .  called several times(I did not answer)... .  and ended with a short email stating... .  "I cannot believe you're doing this to me... .  I would never had done this to you".  Wow!

I haven't heard from her since... .  not a word... .  

It speaks volumes to me ... .  

By keeping in minimum contact with her and allowing myself to be triggered and hooked... .  I apparently was kept around to serve her needs... .  

Now that I have "closed the door" so to speak ... .  she has clearly decided that I am not giving her what she wants... .  

So many wonderful people here have stressed that NC is really the ONLY way to get to the place where one can gain clarity and the ability to start the process of moving ahead... .  

I read so many times ... .  Do it... .  it's the only way... .  and I can honestly say that even after this very short period of time... .  it has been unbelievable... .  

I feel like I can breathe... .  finally

Now with each passing day I feel stronger... .  and I am better able to start the process of ACCEPTANCE... .  and finally able to start the painful process of grieving... .  

For all of you that are in the in between place , such as I was... .  DO IT... .  it is so what you all deserve... .  for yourselves.

Thanks to every post that I ever read using those two letters... .  

  NC!

Hoping each and every one of you finds Peace!

Hugs to ALL

[Wimowe]

By keeping in minimum contact with her and allowing myself to be triggered and hooked... .  I apparently was kept around to serve her needs... .  

Now that I have "closed the door" so to speak ... .  she has clearly decided that I am not giving her what she wants... .  

This is so, so familiar to me from my own recent experience with my uBPDxgf.  I spun in this cycle for months, even though my T and Al-Anon sponsor told me repeatedly (and patiently) that she was using me; by then, there was negligible -- almost perfunctory -- reciprocity in the relationship.

I read so many times ... .  Do it... .  it's the only way... .  and I can honestly say that even after this very short period of time... .  it has been unbelievable... .  

I feel like I can breathe... .  finally

Now with each passing day I feel stronger... .  and I am better able to start the process of ACCEPTANCE... .  and finally able to start the painful process of grieving... .  

Yes, being able to breath again -- what a blessed relief!  And I started sleeping again.  Going NC gave me space to accept, grieve, and heal.

It's great (and really helpful) to hear about your increasing clarity and strength!

[struggletown]

I am 2 days into NC. Stay strong!

Good to see the comments about sleeping. I'm hoping to be able to do that without drinking... .  

[Cimbaruns]

Stay strong. Struggletown

I'm learning how to live without the constant fear of being triggered... .  and NC has helped me enormously ... .  

It really is the only way for most of us here to get some clarity!

Take some good ... .  Deep breaths and get some good sleep

[rogerroger]

Nice!

One caution: If you've read enough of the posts here, you may notice that a lot of us have to fight bouts of temptation to break NC. If you can break away clear and never look back, then kudos to you. If you find yourself having doubts or second thoughts, realize that this is pretty normal. The advice you'll get here in that case is "don't!"

Hang in there!