Do you know when it's time to leave?

[Aspenhigh]

I've heard that when the time is right, you'll know it.  Also heard, There is never a good time to leave... .  you just have to do it.  Which is it?  Please advise.

[WT]

It's me again.  I think you'll learn from the vast majority of us that the best time to leave is as soon as possible, because the likely outcome is that she'll eventually hate you and leave you.  Prior to getting into my last relationship, I had always thought that I could get through any relationship problem as long as I put enough, love, time, and effort into it.  I was wrong.  I'll pull a quote that made me laugh from this post:

Run, and while you are running, run even faster... .  

[WT]

I copied the wrong link for the post.  This is the correct link: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=195063.msg12205372#msg12205372

[GreenMango]

It depends Aspenhigh.  It's infinitely more complicated if you have things like kids, mortgages, shared finances, career/business stuff, family/friends, etc.  Sometimes it takes getting your ducks in a row.  Do you have these things? 

The undecided board has a healing platform that helps people weigh out and decide... .  and then how to do it.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=111890.0

Have you checked these out?

[Traye]

It's a combo... .  the two aren't mutually exclusive.  I knew when I realized I was searching the Internet for articles on ending a relationship.  Took 6 months to process it myself before ":) Day.". I didn't plan ":) Day," per se; it just happened when it happened.  But I was ready.  I bounced among the various boards here for quite some time--now I'm almost exclusively on this board.  It's hard to explain.  But keep educating yourself on the illness.  It takes a lot of hard work, but for me the pieces fell in place once I figured out what was going on with my exBPDgf.  Good luck.

[broken but not beaten]

In my heart I knew I should have left but I couldn't do it,serching inside me and questioning my self will help me find answers to why I allowed myself to be treated as I was. As others have said I eventually became the focus of her hatred for no apparent reason and was ejected for the second time, I'm not sure how to quote but "run hard and run fast" is the best thing I can do. We had nothing to tie us together in the way of children thankfully

[WT]

It's a combo... .  the two aren't mutually exclusive.  I knew when I realized I was searching the Internet for articles on ending a relationship.  Took 6 months to process it myself before ":) Day.". I didn't plan ":) Day," per se; it just happened when it happened.  But I was ready.  I bounced among the various boards here for quite some time--now I'm almost exclusively on this board.  It's hard to explain.  But keep educating yourself on the illness.  It takes a lot of hard work, but for me the pieces fell in place once I figured out what was going on with my exBPDgf.  Good luck.

I was exactly the same way.  For a long time, I was trying to figure out how and when to end the relationship, trying to figure out when to have my D-Day.  I guess she got the last laugh by dropping the atomic bomb on me instead by leaving me for another man.