are these the behaviors of a BPD.
Are they ever . . . .
1) My ex-girlfriend, after 6 months of dating, started complaining about the sound of my voice and insisted I get checked out at an ENT and/or get voice therapy. She told me my voice triggered her and she hated listening to it.
At about this point I was told to procure elective surgery to remedy my snoring. She also told me the sleep-mask thingy (I don't know what they're called) I wore in bed "shut her out." The mask disappeared at one point. No one knows what happened to it.
3) She would start to cry almost instantly when we fought, negating any feeling I was having and turning it around into being about her feelings. Sometimes, the only way through an incident like this, was for me to sit there and tell her I was sorry over and over again, and I had to use the exact words she needed me to say, or she could not forgive me.
Classic. I think my r/s lasted as long as it did because I was SOO good at buying into it actually being my fault.
The need for conflict is so high, but I never recognized it. A frequent, "innocuous" example (and there were many, many not-so-innocuous examples) is: we are going out for the night. I'm in a good mood; she's in a good mood. Somehow, someway, she ends up in a bad mood. I question. This inevitably ends with her giving me an exasperated look and saying, "Come on, I just want to have a fun night, can't you just . . . ."
4) She would escalate from 0 to 100 in no time flat, start yelling or screaming, calling me names, telling me it's over,
Didn't see this until the end, but then I saw it constantly.
5) She accused me of being an "abuser," and blamed me for her reactions during the fights, telling me if I didn't trigger her, she would not have acted this way.
Yep. I'm still an abuser. This is how the new guy has been/will be reeled in.
7) She refused to talk about certain topics, and if I tried to discuss them, would trigger very quickly.
Yep. Complete, utter inability to discuss *anything* significant. The off-limits topics gradually increased until she could not speak to me at all.
8) She was highly critical of me: the way I talked, how I interacted with others in groups, etc/.
Highly critical barely scratches the surface. Every bit of you is now a BPD trigger, down to the cellular level.
9) She would go on and on about how in demand she was, and how many people wanted a piece of her.
My ex's words: "Men love me."
For example, a week ago we were talking on the phone. She wavered back and forth throughout this conversation from calm, to irrate, to calm again and then escalating. In the course of one conversation, she would tell me she loves me and the next minute telling me I am an ass and she never wants to see me again... . she even said she has fallen out of love with me.
It's very disturbing to experience, isn't it? Not only is it hurtful to you to hear her saying all the horrible things, but it's also painful to see someone you care about exhibit this bizarre, twisted behavior. Sometimes, mid-conversation, she'd go from sweet to hateful and, unable to take anymore, it'd be as though a circuit shorted out in her head and she'd go blank/empty into a zombie-like dissociative state. No one home.
